Material Girl II

I've browsed through my post and seen Material Girl post.. So I decide to create part 2 checking if I did had a change to get those things I want.. Lol!

On my Previous post I'm torn if I'll be getting an Ipod Nano (Blue) or an Itouch.. Apparently, I settled with a 8GB Violet Ipod Nano given by my cousin

Then I taught of getting myself a camera D3000 on my older post but I was able to get this baby third quarter of last year.. some accessories.. sweet!


Sadly I haven't bought a new phone yet.. I'm still thinking on what to get but I'll just decide if I will include that on my 2011 list harhar but luckily 2010 gave me a cool present though we already have one of this who am I to say no..

won in over a raffle last weekend during our post xmas party! Love it..

Now should I create my 2011 Material Girl III "want list"? hmmm..

Need to think about it.. :)

Weekend Life

Whoo! after sometime I was able to spend my weekend with my friends and I had a fun weekend.

Saturday: At the back of my head I want to go home early to sleep because I have shopping and dinner date that night. Unfortunately I stayed at the office until 12 noon because I need to complete my phone time. So I got home around 1 o'clock in the afternoon talked to my mom about the birthday surprise that we are organizing for my Aunt on December. I slept for 2 hours and run to Trinoma to meet Midz. While waiting I bought a sponge and e.l.f concealer I've been hunting for ages (I lurve it!). When Midz arrive we head to Ideal Vision in SM North to get me my first pair of contact lenses. The Optometrist checked my eyes and almost tied me just to pull the lenses on lol! (First time eh!) After the my battle, we head to Gerry's to have "light dinner" with Tinz and Nok. Chicka over dinner is the best medicine for all illness lol. Because Nok is annoyed about the sound system and the chaos at Gerry's we just finished our dinner and look for some place to chill when we saw something that made my eyes twinkle on that resto along the way, which made us stay. Darn, I've been looking forward on having him again and there we meet again, a bucket of Tanduay Ice yeah my night is complete. Over chikahan and cigarette smoke my Saturday night is complete. Until I got home and struggled to take off my contact lens for almost an hour. (Note: Thanks to Nok for your coaching me.)

Sunday: Woke up at around 9am and watch some series I've been following for a couple of weeks now when I receive the text from Louise and Nikki to meet them in Starbucks, Araneta at 2pm at first, then was changed to 5pm. I missed this chikahan time with them over coffee, pastries and cigarettes. Of course, a day won't be complete if we won't have kulitan pictures and this time around with an extra lol (details later or might be another post hehe). After which the 2 of them watched a movie while I when to one of my co-leagues place to drink with the LNP team. I had fun drinking and eating with them, the question and answer is so cool, that made me think "I should hang out with them more often" and I think I would we called it a night around 12midnight. Got home around 1AM texting some of my friends telling them - I've seen Destiny that day hahaha..

Newly aged

I'm too hooked on reading this manual..
Too eager to know and learn things..
Too busy to travel and explore..
But my career and social life is not boring anymore! nyahhaa!
Loving these things which keeps me busy..

Death

I saw links to know when I will die then I tried it here's the result
Then I got curious to know how will I die, I searched for it and here's the result

hmmm.. funny? what if its true? In less than 45 years from now I'll be dead by a nuclear holocaust possible by the said year, aight?! or car accident? hmmm... possible..

Earthquake

6.1 - 6.2 magnitude earthquake at 1:29 pm GMT + 8. Tectonic origin and strongest in west of Manila. The earthquake has been felt throughout the Metro. I was home surfing the netting thinking that I'm just to sleepy, when my dad says that the earth is shaking. I instantly do the sign of the cross and thought of my mom and 2 brothers who were out. Hope they'll go home safe later. Specially Jon-jon, its his birthday tomorrow, hope he got to his office and be home later safe.

6 months

Kung hindi pa pinaalala sakin ni Loisa mag anim na buwan ko na pala namimiss ang dati kong pasaway na buhay. I miss my old teammates, my old drinking buddies, my friends for almost 4 years. Kakamiss ang PGR, kaya kahit kung lang pa pahinga ko gow kagad ako kanina 7AM sa G2. Kakamiss ang walgn humpay na inuman after shift. nasulit nito ung leave ko. Yes after 6 months nakapagleave ako. From overnight swimming sa Pampangga to may Lola'a birthday celebration to PGR mini reunion. Kahit wala pa ko masyado pahinga ngayon ok lang, nakapagkulitan naman kame sa Pampangga ng fam ko nung friday night, food trip ng buong angkan namin ng saturday at inuman ng fave ko na team ngyon Sunday. Thanks thanks guys nasulit ang leave ko.. Mwah!
Miss ko na PGR kaya itutuloy natin ang swimming reunion ayusin natin yan kailangang nandun ang mga pasaway na team natin lahat dapat hehehe.
Sa April naman ang puerto natin ha lam nyo na..
Hay I miss the petiks day na wala ko problema sa sked ngayon dami gagawin pero atleast nasulit ang pahinga ko.. Love you people thanks for mayking me smile, laugh and crazy everytime..

Rewind or Fast Forward

I can't describe the feeling on how I would react last night seeing two person who affects my state before. Two different person,two different reaction and two different situation from then 'till now. Funny coz I don't even know how to react now. Anyway, I was left dumbfounded twice after last night. First after we ate dinner, I was looking at the old folk I've know before but his trying to figure out where he'd seen me. Darn it, do I look that hideous and fat for people not to recognize me?! Oh well, we did talk about the things but my cousin has to butt in, to well stop the "moment", hell! thanks cuz! Then he left but did look for me to bid goodbye, leaving me thinking that he change so much but his still that nice guy ever since I've known him. Second was after that goodbye, I was shocked seeing his person coming, its like a slow motion scene but then realizing that I was part of a practical joke when I saw the person behind. But this time I was not given any change to chit chat but could constantly catch someone looking. On one instance I smiled and he smiled back, darn if only he could hear my side comments which made my cousin laugh. Funny how that night end, I asked my relative's, my dad and mom that I'll go ahead and hit the sack coz I'm really sleepy though it's not yet midnight. I asked my brother to bring me home because I'm too sleepy, just to learn that he was also leaving (that early), I mean "they". I don't know if that a coincidence or if I'm hallucinating but I saw him looking at our ride while we leave. Is he eyeing my brother?! Harhar but for cheese sake, his with someone!
Oh well, that was just it. I rarely visit those cousin of mine and I rarely go to that side of my world, Why? Because they don't know whole complete me, most of them knew me as their precious, sweet, dear cousin whose having weight problems as of the moment but can still get back on track in no time, the only daughter of their cool uncle who knew what she wants. Yes, everything about me is positive and good on that end of the road. Sometimes, I like that thought but most of the time it makes me sick coz it's making me realize on how huge their expectation from me is and it sucks. Oh darn life, even their welcome questions, Where is your boyfriend? And when are you getting married? I know I'm not that young anymore but please I don't even have one and marriage is not yet on my vocabulary. And I know I'm bitter because recently someone.. ah never mind.
Anywho back on the real topic, that was just like a gist of something which made me remember that chapter of my past, my insecure highshool days til my exciting college years, Me being the aloof, snobbish, unknown, off-limits cousin of their friend.

Prob?

Sobrang swamp ako with work lately, all I do is, go to work, do OTY then go home. Pagdating sa bahay magtsecheck ng facebook, papasok sa kwarto magbabasa hanggang sa makatulog.
Sa limang araw sa isang linggo ganon lang ng ganon. Ung natitirang dalawang araw? Hehe ung isang araw dyan nasakop na rin ng routine ng panglimang araw ko kaya kung susumahin isa't kalahating araw lang talaga ang kunwariang pahinga ko na hindi nagtatrabaho. Anong ginagawa ko? Hehehe syempre matulog at magpahinga un ay kung hindi ako yayayain ng mga kasamahan ko lumabas para mabuo ang panganim na araw sa isang linggo ko o alilain ng nanay ko para makasama sa mamili ng kung ano ano.
Pero meron ako narealize, marami pala ako napupulot na kung ano ano sa trabaho ko, hindi lang tungkol sa trabaho. Anu un? Isa-isahin natin.
Babala: Ang mga makikita ninyo sa Ingles na lenguwahe ay mga salitang nakakasalumuha ko sa araw araw na ginagawa ni Bro sa buhay opisina ko.

Convey problem. Paraphrase. Fact find. Give all possible option. Suggest the best solution. Delete add refresh. End call/hung up/recoding ended. Sa opisina normal ito, mausisa ang mga tao nakasama ko, lagi nila tinatanong kung ano ang problema ng mga taong nakakausap nila tapos susubukan uriratin ang gumugulo sa mga kausap nila. Tapos tulungan at ayusin kung ano man ang sulirananin. Pero sa tulad ko na bihira na gawin ito at nakakukuha lang magobserba at magcomment, minsan iba na tingin at pakahulugan sakin ng mga iyan.

Conveys problem. Pagkakaroon ng problema, suluranin, posibleng sakit sa ulo, mga dahilan ng hindi pagiging normal, mga hindi inaasahang pangyayari sa normal at maayos mong buhay na nagdudulot ng pighati, kalungkutan, saloobin at kalungkutan. Na minsa'y nauuwi sa pagkakaroon ng masalumuot na pangyayari, karamdaman, damdamin at pananaw sa buhay, un eh kung hindi mo babaliwalain ang isang problema.

Paraphrase. Ito ung tipong pagtangap na meron kang problema. Minsan kase hindi natin iniintindi yan o iniiwasan para lang hindi mapraning, magkaroon ng sakit ng ulo, mahighblood at para walang dagdag isipin dedma ang madalas ginagawa ng karamihan. Pero mali dahil hindi naman maaalis ang isang problema kung hindi mo susolusyunan o haharapin hindi ba?

Fact finds. Alamin ang dahilan. Bakit ka nga ba namumublema sa ngayon? Ano ang mga posibleng dahilan? Anong ang mga pangyayari sa buhay mo na naglandas para magkaroon ng ganitong suliranin? May nagawa ka bang pagkakamali? Bakit ganito ngayon? Yan kinukwestyon mo na sang sarili mo. Normal, lahat ng problema ay may dahilan, may pinanggalingan, kung kinukulit ka man ngayon ng sakit ng ulo na yan, ikaw rin ang may dahilan.

Give all possible option. Isipin ang lahat ng possibleng solusyon. Hindi totoo ang sinasabi ng karamihan ng tao na "No Choice" lahat ng ay binibigyan ng pagpipilian. Marami posibidad na magging solusyon sa problema. Nandyan na ung, dedmahin hanggang sa kabugin ka na lang bigla isang araw kakadedma mo. Paglaban kung ano talaga ang nais mo kahit pa may matatapakan kang tao. Magkapakamartyr at gaga dahil gusto mo maging mabait sa paningin ng iba. Sundin ang tamang sinasabi ng utak mo. Pakingan ang sinasabi ng puso mo dahil gusto mong maging masaya naks! Maghintay. Ugatin ka man, mamuti ang mata, putian ng uwak at kahit kapitan ka man ng mga suso at lumot, parang umoorder ka lang sa fast food, ganon ang drama mo day, "willing to wait" ka parin. Pero sabi nga choice mo yan, yan ang mga pagpipilian at alam ko marami pang enumeration dyan kaso hahaba masyado next time naman.

Suggest the best solution. Yan eto naman ung multiple choice part. Piliin at gawin mo kung ano tingin mong tama para sayo. Hep, naintindihan mo ba? Ang sabi ko kung anong tingin mo tama PARA SAYO. Bakit may emphasis? Kase hindi parepareho ang choice ng bawat isa, ikaw at ikaw lang sa sarili mo ang makakapagsabi kung ano ang tama para sayo. Tried and tested, ganito yan eh, maraming tao ang lagi humihingi ng opinyon ng iba pero at the back fo their mind meron na talaga silang desisyon, kahit gaano pa katama ang suhestiyon ng ibang tao kung iba talaga ang gusto mong mangyari un parin ang susundin mo. Bakit ka humihingi ng opinyon ng iba? Marahil humahanap ka lang ng taong aayon sa gusto mong mangyari at mapatunayang kahit papaano ay tama ka. But again, isipin mo maigi ang mga posibilidad at mga pwedeng manyari para makapagdesisyon ng tama. You might choose something that is not the best option for everybody but it is for you.

Delete add refresh. Eto ung troubleshooting part, solusyon kung baga. Eto ung proseso na ginagawa mo na ang dapat mong gawin para matuldukan o matapos ang dagdag na pasanin kinahaharapan mo. Kung ano naman ang pinili mong solusyon eto na ung parte na un. Minsan sandali lang tapos na, pero kadalasan hindi, nandyan pa ung parteng may pilitan, iyakan, sakitan, sagutan, sigawan, sumbatan at kung ano ano pang -an. Minsan naman nililiteral ng ibang tao ito as in delete add refresh talaga lalo na kung usapang puso ang usapan sows. Delete iitsepwera na kung sino naman ung napapasakit sa kalooban. Add kumanap ng kapalit, sakit nun para sa taong "panakip butas na lamang" . May mga taong nakakakalimot lamang kung meron na kapalit, pero kahit saang angulo tignan hindi parin tama. Refresh tama lang ang katagang ito kung positive ang kinalabasan ng pagkakaroon ng Add, kung hindi naman nagadd, ibig lang sabihin ay nagmomove on ka na .

Eto ang mga resulta sa pagharap sa problema.
End call tapos an ang problema, nasulusyunan na ng tama at ok ka na.
Hung up eto ung negative part ng end call dahil maaring hindi nasulusyonan ang problema mo, paranget ang kinalabasan at nahihirapan ka parin kaya balik ka sa parapharasing para pagnilaynilayan ang mga nangyari.
Recording ended walang ending, nakabitin ang lahat posibleng hindi tinanggap ng kabilang partido ang desisyon mo at hindi siya sumagot, kaya wala parin solusyon.Walang tuldok.

ang dami ko sinabi, pasensiya na at tamad na tamad ako magtrabaho ngayon araw na to kay ito ang ginagawa ko sa opisina. Tagal ko narin hindi nagagawa ito in fairness. Paumainhin ang ang daldal ng mga daliri ko.. Peace yahall!

Cheesy

I read this conversation from one of the books I’m reading during my off. The first characters line is “Forget me, forget everything about me..” then second character answered “I’m sorry but you can’t get rid of me that easily, you can try to hide from me but I promise to not to leave your side” then the story continues and at the end the first character ate his words and says “Forget about forgetting me I don’t think I can live with that..” awww.. cheesy.. (Disclaimer: I read this line from a book for real, sorry to burst anyone’s bubble :peace: )
I don’t know why but I’m fond of reading this cheesy kind for stories lately arg! I don’t know why. I don’t even have a love life, one of my friends just recently broke up with her partner and most of the trainers and our boss are teasing us to look for a boyfriend and wtf its already March not February “the love month” duh!
Anyway, back to those cheesy lines, forgetting is not an easy thing to do or learn, like the saying one can forgive but won’t ever forget. Amnesia is not an airborne disease. But there is this “Selective Memory” phase that I can recall we discuss in training, helpful but not cure for this forgetting thingy. One can cut all possible means of communication, text, call, messenger, forum, blog site, website, email, letter, telegraph, radio, ect. One can be swamp with work, problems and everything but are you really sure if that stubborn mind with its brain cells friendship would also stop from functioning so they won’t torture you from those pictographic images called memory. In short this is not an easy task. Amnesia is really hard to fake. Lol.
Some people never get tired of waiting, wishing and hoping. I salute you guys. Risk takers, masochist, selfless, martyr call them whatever you want. They are the people who chase, pursue their own happiness. To these people are brave enough to risk their emotion, never minding the pain and hurt that could equate the “what happen” next.
Anywho, life is something you create and decide upon on. We are all given choices and choose what you think is best for you. Some could show the result to everybody while some would just let things happen. For me, I love surprises or either I conceal too much. What about this line? “Forget about forgetting me I don’t think I can live with that..” hhhmmm its just a cheesy line that I don’t think could happen in real life.

Hmmmm... right..

"I don't know anyone who isn't haunted by something or someone. And whether we try to shove the pain with a knife or shove it at the back of the closet, our efforts usually fails. So the way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page or put an old story finally to rest."

"Never allow yourself to be treated as nothing by another person whom you valued so much. If there's no sense in waiting, then move on. If you feel you're not valued by that person like you do then let go. That's life."

MU

Wag ka masyadong magexpect o magdemand. Wala kayong commitment.
Pwede ka naman magselos, pwede ka magtampo pero hindi ka pwedeng magalit.
Pwede mo siya lambingin, pwede mong yakapin
at pag nalaman mo na may girlfriend siya pwede ka umiyak.
Pwede ka masaktan pero di mo siya pwedeng sumbatan, wala ka karapatan.
At yan ay dahil ang M.U. ay isang Magulong Usapan.

Bloopers

Darn, had a good laugh before I left the office and can't get over it. I'll share it to you guys.
I'm working in a callcenter for almost 4 years now. I know there are a lot of bloopers when an agent were taking calls. I'm one of the contributors for some funny conversation with Americans when I was an agent taking calls. Well, I'm very aware of bloopers in the callcenter but I just can't get enough of it specially now that I'm one of those wiretapper, eavesdropper, know-it-all-attention seeker who listens to other peoples recorded conversation, trust me you'll get bored of eavesdropping on someone's conversation but when you luckily spot an awesome blooper darn you'll cry laughing. I'll share those two I remember by heart because I listen to it recently :rofl:.
First is a call from my previous agent (let not name names ok!). Agent got the call and ask for the name. The customers last name is Callaghan, the caller pronounce it as Cal-uh-han. The agent was able to pull up the record and called the customer "Ok Mr. Ka-laghan this.." with Filipino accent then through out the conversation the agent pronounce it as "Mr. Ka-Lag-Han" darn, Janice and I can't stop laughing when we heard it. (I know I'm evil, Sorry).
Second is a call I listened to earlier. The customer called in and stated her inquiry on the call. The agent pulled up the information on the system, it showed that the account is under Patron White but the caller's name is Veronica Carrillo. So as per policy the agent needs to ask for the name on the account, verification. So the conversation goes..
Agent: May I ask for the name on the account please?
Caller: Patron Silver
Agent: And I'm speaking with?
Caller: Veronica Carrillo
Agent: Is the account holder there?
Caller: I'm the account holder, I ask to put Patron White when I got this coz I want that name to appear when coz I don't when other people to see my name. You know Patron White is a liquor..
Agent: Ok, so can I speak to Mr. Parton Silver? (harharhar)
Caller: I'm the account holder, I just ask that name to be use on my account.
Agent: Ok, I understand, so how can I help you Ms. Silver?

Me listening while Laughing out loud, relayed the story to Janice we both rolled on the floor laughing(not literally heller).. darn this is what I love on my job, its exhausting but I could still go home smiling, I mean laughing hahahaha..
PEACE YAH ALL

Tsuyses

Pinipili mo ang lahat ng bagay na nangyayari at ginagawa mo.
Pinili mong bumangaon sa umaga pagpapasok ka sa opisina o humiga muli para matulog pa kaya nagmamadali kang lumayas papasok para lang maipit sa buhol buhol na traffic sa daan.
Pinili mong maglakad kesa sumakay sa tricycle para lang maputikan ang bago mo sapatos, nakatipid ka nga sira naman sapatos mo pagod ka pa.
Pinili mo rin na maginom kasama ang barkada buong magdamag kesa magreview para sa klase mo kinabukasan, badtrip na hangover, wala ka pa masagot sa exam.
Pinili mong magpuyat araw araw kakaayos ng farm mo, kakafight sa mga kamafia mo at kakaluto sa cafeworld mo sa facebook kesa matulog kaya inaantok ka sa trabaho.
Pinili mong manood ng tagalong action movie para malaman mo na sa huli parin dadating ang mga pulis sa isang bakanteng pabrika o bodega para makitang tapos na ang laban at nasagip na ang seksing babae ng bida sa pelikula.
Pinili mong sumakay sa FX para lang makita sa unahan ang ex mo kasama ang syota niyang mukhang bakla. Bubulong bulong ka pa at magtetext sa barkada para ipamalita ang kabiteran mo dahil sa nakikita.
Pinili mong suwayin ang mga magulang mo at maging palaboy na lang sa lansangan.
Pinili mong malulong sa sugal, babae, alak at droga para saan? Para masira ang buhay at kinabukasan mo?
Pinili mong magpakamartir, loser at tanga kahit pwede ka naman bumitiw at magmove on na, 6 year na kayong hiwalay teh tama na ilusyon.
Pinili mong maghintay sa wala, umaasang babalik siya at matatagpo kayong muli.
Pinili mong gawin ang gusto mo kahit alam mong mali ito.

Pinipili natin lahat ng desisyon natin sa buhay, hindi totoong no choice, dahilan lang yan. Marami mga desisyon ang nakasalalay sayo. Maraming magiging sapantaha ang ibang nakakakita sa mga desisyon mo pero nasa iyo kung paano mo ipapakita na hindi ka katulad ng iniiisip nila. Ang mahirap lang eh ang mapatunayan mong tama nga sila at di ka naiiba sa taong inaasahan nila.

Choices

Choices… consists of the mental process of thinking involved with the process of judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one of them for action. Care in selecting, judgment or skill in distinguishing what is to be preferred and in giving a preference. Oh what the heck it’s simply deciding whether to get up in the morning or go back to sleep, or selecting a given route for a journey.
Something struck me, after the words “It’s about choices” came out of my mouth earlier in the office. It made me think of things, a lot of things. It started about this conversation with my officemates. There are decisions I make that made me who I am now, I wouldn’t lie, I regret some of which. But what can I do, I can no longer turn back time to change what had happened.
On the other hand, why are there people who don’t know how to use that little organ inside that hard cage at the upper most of their body? It’s frustrating to learn that a lot of words said are wasted, are just promises coming from a desperate stranger who wanted attention. Yes, I’m guilty on judging a person that she/he can’t do it, she’ll/he’ll just make it harder for us, she/he will be pain in the ass for all of us.
She/he said she’ll/he’ll prove us wrong, that this is what she/he really wants. But I’m sorry on what you’re showing us now. You’re just proving that I’m right. It’s a matter of choice my dear, in this world you’re in now, options are just inserts, decisions are vital and choosing are crucial.

Goin' Back

Darn I don't have a life. Since I started to work in Marikina super busy na ko. Pero super lumolobo rin ako ngayon. Sabi nila stress daw nakakapayat, hindi naman ah. Tsk tsk tsk. Hay, wala na ko ibang buhay kundi itong trabaho kong wiretapping, kung dating 9hours lang ako lagi sa opisina at nakatutok sa AVAYA(telephono sa callcenter) ng 5:59AM araw araw para makauwi agad sa bahay noon, ngayon kahit gustuhin ko gawin un hindi ko magawa, ang dami ko kailangan tapusin. Bakit ko nga ba inusto ko ang trabaho ko ngayon na masmalaki pa ata sweldo ko nung ahente pa lang ako kesa sa dinami dami ng report na ginagawa ko ngayon nabawasan pa sinasahod ko, 'nak ng tokwa anu ba kase pumasok sa kukute ko.
Apat na buwan na ko dito sa ginagawa ko, 40 kilo na rin ata nadadagdag sa bigat ko, bwisit akala ko pa naman papayat ako. Kung ano ano na rin mga sakit naramdaman ko, epekto ng paglipat ko ng opisina. Dati Medium lang size ng shirt ko bakit ngayon masikip na ang Large, hindi naman na ko nagkakakain sa opisina, kulang pa ko sa tulog bakit ganon. Sa stress naman ay marami ako ngayon pwede ko na nga pagkakitaan kase hindi ako nauubusan ng supply araw araw.
Sa opisina hindi ko masyado naiinda frustration ko sa pagpapayat, pano ba naman sa "cube" namin ako ata pinakamaliit hahaha.. pwera kay Joax na sobrang payat hindi na ako nainsecure dun. Pero pagdating sa bahay, nak ng tokwa pagbukas pa lang ng TV lahat ng payat nakikita ko dagdagan pag nachecheck ko ung mga picture ko dati susme bakit ganon Bro ibalik mo lang ung dati ok na ko eh.. wala na ko hihilingin pa.
Then the other day may naalala ko, napaisip at biglang nanlumo. Bakit nga ba parang left out ako ngayon, wala na ko alam sa nangyayari. Pagtinanong ako about sa mga kaibigan ko kahit bagsak ako pero pag tinanong mo ko sa latest standing ng NCO Site Marikina versus other vendor regarding CRI, sows sisiw yan gawan pa kita ng power point presentation na may excel summary pa. Lol. May nagtext din pero blanko, unknown number pero parang pamilyar, kaso hindi ko na confirm walang may alam ng number na un kaya sige idedma na lang. Pero parang pinaalala nito ung mundong dinededma ko. Bakit nga ko ba isinantabi un, ang sinasabi at lagi ko dahilan eh "BUSY AKO", well in a way totoo un, pero kung iisipin dati nama busy rin ako pero hindi ko naman sinubukan kalimutan un, bakit nga ba?
I felt left out, hindi kaya ako lang nagaaisolate sa sarili ko? What I don't know won't hurt me, if I didn't asked i won't know and won't get hurt. If I'm not interested, I should have not cared or asked anything about the person, para hindi na ko nanghinayang o nagiisip man lang ngayon, hayz life.
Apat na buwan pa lang ako pero ang dami dami ko na ginagawa, madami na ko nakakalimutan, naiisang tabi at pinaghihinayangan. Hay if only every sentence I experience ends with period I wouldn't have this what if maybe thoughts running in my head.

Thoughts - My Lucky Month

I never expected that my month would start well. I made some serious decision/choices end of august, that time, unlike before I just let instinct guide me. I didn't analyzed any of it, just go with the flow but I made sure I have my back up plan just in case.
Today, September 08, 2009 Mama Mary's birthday, my friends birthday as well, one of my favorite date(I don't know why) and my lucky day I guess. I got a call last night informing me I was chosen. Darn I never expected to get that. The day I went on to appointment was nerve-racking, knowing that the person I'm speaking with is not fluent with our native language and know that she's very strict in her craft. Even though I don't have the faith on my self that I could impress her I still tried.
And I was so happy when I saw the number on my caller id, that familiar number and then giving me that good news.
This is really is my month, no matter how bad my 2009 is, Ms. September would never fail me.

Usapan

Sabi ng tatay ko lahat ng bagay nadadaan sa mabuting usapan, pero sabi ko mas madali ata ung maboteng usapan, masaya pa! Marami ka malalalaman, maririnig at matututunan. Hahaha! Masarap makinig sa usapan sa isang lamesang puno ng pagkain at iba't ibang inumin, lalo na ung mga nakakalasing.
Nandyan na ung payabangan, "Yan si Myrna kaunting bola na lang mapapasagot ko rin yan. Anu pa ba hahanapin niya sakin, magandang lalaki na ako may matino pang trabaho". Kamukatmukat mo hanggang ngayon wala parin siya syota.
Pagalingan, "Oy, pare wag mo na pagawa ung radyo ninyo sa electrician dalin mo na lang sa bahay bukas, kaya ko ayusin yan hik!" Pagdaan mo naman sa bahay nila kinabukasan makikita mong nakakalat ung mga piyesa ng radyo sa sala idamay mo pa ung elesi ng electric fan sa sahig na pinaglalaruan ng bunsong anak niya.
Payamanan "Mga pare, anu bang magandang sasakyan ngayon, nakakuha kase ko ng bonus sa opisina, ibibili ko ng bago kotse papalitan ko na ung luma ko." Sagot ng kainuman "Pare anu ba ung luma kotse mo? Sandali may kotse ka ba?"
At ang walang sawang kumbinsihan na hindi pa lasing, "Di pa ko lasheng, tara inom pa tayo, tagay hik!" sabay lakad ng pagewang-gewang dahil maiihi o masuka. At pagkatapos maririnig mo na lang na naghihilik sa upuan sa isang sulok.
Minsan pa mauuwi yan ang huntahan sa pagtatalo, sa away at gulo, nagkakasakitan pa kung minsan. Pero pagnag-abot ka na ng tagay eh ayos na ulit, bati bati na, tuloy ang inuman at kwentuhan. Parang walang nasakatan, walang pagtatalo, walang nagyaring gulo.

Hindi maiiwasan ang hindi pagkakasundo kahit pa mababaw lang ito, hindi maaalis na magkasalungat ng bawat isa, sa mga panananaw, gawi at opinyon. May kanya kanya tayong ugali, walang dalawang tao ang magkapareho. Bawat isa sa atin, iba.
Yan ang madalas na dahilan kung bakit may nagkakainitan ng ulo. Madalas hindi nagkakatugma ang sa nais ang dalawang tao sa isang bagay. At dahil ni isa sa kanila ay ayaw magpatalo at ni ayaw pakingan ang bawat isang, mas lalong walang mangyayari, lalaki lang at hindi matatapos ang pagtatalo.
Kahit mahirap, minsan mas mabuti ang manahimik muna at makinig kesa sa salubungin ang init ng ulo. Hindi ba mas malalala ang resulta pagnagkabangaan ang dalawang humaharurot na sasakyan? Kadalasan walang nakakaligtas. Pero mahirap din naman magpigil ng galit kase pagnapuno yan kung hindi aapaw, siguradong sasabog. Ang gulo diba? Pero tingin ko, dapat lang natin matutunan ang makinig at magisip muna bago magsalita. Ang kontrolin ang galit at emosyon. Ang maghinayhinay sa bawat salitang binibitawan. At magpaubaya paminsan minsan.
Ang tanging magagawa natin para magkaintindihan ay ang pahalagahan ang bawat isa. Kahit sino pa siya, kahit gaano pa kasama ang isang tao, kahit hindi mo siya gusto hindi masamang makinig kahit sandali. Malay mo, meron kang mapulot na magbibigay daan para sa ikabubuti mo. Mabuti man un o masama, makakatulong o hindi, may ibig sabihin parin un, may laman, nasa iyo na lang kung paano mo tatangapin.
O sya tagay na!

Araw-araw

I badly need a life! Yan madalas ko sabihin sa araw araw. Hindi naman literal pero kung iisipin ko napakaboring at walng katuturan ng buhay ko (un ang palagay ko). Bakit ko nasabi yan? Ganto ang routine ko sa normal kong araw. Gigising ng 7pm ng gabi -ay hindi ko nasabi panggabi po akong tao, bampira kung baga ganto na ko sa loob ng mahigit tatlong taon- diretso sa kabilang pintuan para maligo, aabutin ng mahigit kumulang na 45minutes para matapos may kasamapang sigaw yan ng nanay ko na "Hoy Chinkay ang tagal mo nanaman dyan baka malate ka!". Paglabas diretso sa kwarto ko para mag ayos at magbihis kulang kulang 45minutes ulit hehehe! Kaya 30 minutes na lang ang matitira para bumyahe papasok sa opisina. Pagsakay ko ng jeep wala ko ibang nakikita kundi ang bag ko at ang sapatos ko kung nakayuko ako, pupungaspungas pa dahil inaantok pa ko bitin naman talaga ang 4 na oras na tulog diba? Yan ang dahilan kung bakit napagkakamalan ako mataray, suplada at masungit. Kahit kase meron ako kakilala na nakasabay ko sa jeep, hindi ko napapansin, hindi ko naman sinasadya ang ganon, hindi ko lang din kase ugali ang suyurin ng tingin ang bawat taong nakapaligid sakin. Ayoko kase nang may tumitingin sakin nakakailang kaya ganon ako sa ibang tao, umaasa na ganon din sila. Pero hindi naman ako ung tipong walang pakialam sa mundo, tinignan ko rin naman kung meron ako dapat ikabahala, maingat rin naman ako. Ayan sa tagal at bagal ni manong driver 15 minutes na lang natitira sakin. Ganto ang tumatakbo sa utak ko araw araw. Hehehe, pagbaba ko, isa pa sakayan para makarating sa opisina, sasabihin ko, pagmay 3 FX na ang dumaan at hindi dun ang ruta ko ibig sabihin magtataxi na ko gagastos nanaman ako para lang hindi ma late. Isipin mo kung nagmamadali ako at magtataxi uubos ako ng 110pesos na pamasahe papunta palang ng opisina, pero kung hindi naman eh 30pesos lang sayang ang 80 pesos ang dami na narating ng pera na un. pero no choice dahil late ako nagising o dahil tinatamad ako gumalaw kaya ang bagal ko kumilos tsk tsk. Pagdating sa opisina, log in, bubukasn ang PC at maghihintay ng ilang pangminuto para lang macheck ang mga email na kailangan ko sa araw araw. Chika dito chika don tapos trabaho na. lilipag ang walong oras nanasa harap ako ng monitor, siyempre hindi kasama dun ung break ko, walang kamatayang tangap ng email, basa, reply, send, tangap ng tawag, tangap ng email, basa, reply, send, tangap ng tawag, tangap ng email, basa, reply, send, tangap ng tawag, tuloy tuloy yan hanggang magalasais ng umaga yes! Uwian na ang tagal ko hinintay yan hahaha! Pagdating sa bahay, bukas ng tv check kung gossip girls na or america's next top model pag hindi pasok sa kabilang bahay at lakad dito lakad dun mga isang oras ako ganon. Pagkatapos manood ng tv Lifestyle chanel, mapapasin ko pasado alas nuebe na. Bubuksan ko PC ko at magcheck ulit ng walang kamatayang email, tatawagan tita ko para ayusin ang dapat ayusin, kakausapin lolo at tatay ko para magawa ang dapat gawin, balik sa monitor, matatanim naman, kakausapin nanay at lola ko tatanugning kung kelan kame pwede magshopping yeah! labdat! Magiisip, masusulat, mageemail, hindi ko na mamamalayan alasdos na nag tanghali ang bilis naman ng oras. Tapos kahit meron pa ko kailangan gawin papatayin ko na ang PC ko papasok sa kwarto at aayusin ang kama ko, hahanapin ang libriong hindi ko pa natatapos sa divider ko at hihiga habang nagbabasa. Hindi ko nanaman mamamalayan ang oras alas tres na pala (minsan alasquatro pa yan) tska ko palang ibaba ang libro at susubukan matulog, tapos nanaman ang araw ko. Ganon nanaman ulit mamaya paggising. Napapagod na ko, nakakasawa na rin, gusto ko naman ng bago. Bago trabaho siguro, bago pagkakaabalahan, bagong routine sa araw araw. San ko kaya pwede isingit ang lablyp, hmmm... wag nalang wala naman ako nun eh hahaha! Dadating din malamang un ng kusa, sa ngayon kailangan ko ng mga bago sa buhay ko para ganahan naman ulit ako gumising at sumulan ang araw ko.

Pagbabago

Kabibili ko lang ng sim card nung isang araw, sencondary line kumbaga. Ewan ko ba kung paano ako napilit bumili ng simple sim card, eh forever posible user ako. Well, ayun binili ko rin, unfortunately wala ko ibang phone na gagamitin chet, bakit ngayon ko lang naisip after ko mabili ung sim. Ung isang phone ko kinuha ng kapatid ko, paano nasira ung telephono niya nung isang araw, sus ung sirang celphone ang naiwan at nakalock sa posible line un. Susko anu ba yan, sabi na nga ba eh kailangan ko pa daw talaga bumili ng bago phone, naiisip ko na un nung isang araw, habang naguusap kame nga mga kaopisina ko. We're joking about Jason buying a new phone in Commonwelt Avenue, the said place was raid due because the dealers there were selling snatched and stolen phones, but if you'll be checking the place today after the said police operation, business is still on going haha. Sabi ko gusto ko ung P1i or ung bagong SE C905 gusto ko ung phone na un, shoot! Basta bibili ako ng secondary phone ko kahit na 5110 pa ayan.

Anyway, so I got the sim used it in my primary phone and insert my globe sim in the other busted phone mygulay. How can I send text messages using this, shoot again! Pero naaliw ako nung una, kahit hindi ako familiar sa smart (eversince nauso sakin ang celphone, simula pa nung highschool ako, na ginto ang presyo ng mga sim card-my first sim costed me 1,200 petot susko ginto!- globe user na ko) eh may katek ako agad, aliw. Pero nabadtrip ako pagdating sa bahay mahina nga pala signal nito sa loob ng kwarto ko, susme bakit nun ko lang naalala na may cellsite ang globe sa kabilang street namin kaya mahina talaga ang signal ng smart dito. Ayun wala ko nareceive na text or call pagdating ko sa bahay, anak ng tokwa, wala rin. Kaya sabi hindi ko na ulit gagamitin ang simcard na ito.

Hay, mahirap talaga palitan o baguhin ang nakasanayan na. Dapat alam ko na yan, dapat sanay na ko dahil mahigit isang linggo na ko hindi mapakali sa mga bagay na gumugulo sa utak ko, mga pagbabago. Mga bagay na hindi mo inaasahan tapos bigla-biglang mangyayari, meron naman alam mo na posibleng mangyari pero hindi mo akalain ngayon na un, nagyayari na. O mga bagay na iniisip mo mangyayari pero walang posibilidad matupad pero eto na at kaharap mo na. Ang gulo diba? Ang hirap..
Mahirap din pala ipilit ang hindi pwede, ung hindi akma, na kahit gaano kalakas ang tulak mo hindi gagalaw at mauubos lang ang lakas mo, mga bagay na hindi talaga ukol kaya kahit anong pilit mo, umiyak ka man ng dugo, wala ka parin mahihita..

Masyado na ko nagugulat at naguguluhan, napapagod na rin ako kakaisip kung bakit, ano, paano, saan at sino. Kaya siguro para mabawasan ang gera sa utak ko, sabayan ko na muna ung agos baka sakaling dalhin ako nito sa pampang, kesa pulikatin ako pagpinilit kong sagupain ang alon, kahit hindi rin naman talaga ako marunong lumangoy.
Ang mga bagay na gumugulo sakin ngayon ay biglaan, ni hindi ko alam pagkatapos naming magsaya sa bakasyon pinaghandaan namin eh iyakan naman pagkatapos, hindi ko alam kung tama ang gagawin at mga desisyon ko, gusto ko nga paginisip pa mabuti kaso, unti-unti narin akong napapagod, nahihirapan. Masakit nasa ulo, baka pagnagpatuloy ang ganito tuluyan pang lumala ung sakit ko sa utak hindi pa naman ako normal.

I tried different alternatives but nothing seems to work. I tried reaching out but it keeps on running away from me. I tried saving it but I just prolonged the agony but it died eventually. So I guess, I just have to let it go, I think, its time to loosen the grip on my wheel and just wait and see where it would/could bring me. I'll just make sure that I'm ready no matter what..
I'll just keep my fingers crossed and hope that tomorrow will be better than today..

5 o'clock in the morning, got a text message from myonly, she's calling my smart number, cannot be reached daw, eh paano magriring tinggal ko nga ung sim, ay sus palitan nanaman ng sim card..

-written April 09, 2009

What life could bring..

(I haven't written for a long time kahit poems.. quotation lang.. kaya post ko muna mga olds essays ko.. sabi parang gulong ang buhay paikot ikot lang.. kaya nung bsahin ko mga sinulat ko dati.. parang ganon rin naman nararamadan ko ngayon..)


Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. You’ll never know what life could bring you. For a moment you’re jubilant, savoring the happiness that life has brought you. Satisfied for having those people you cherish. But in a snap that could change, in to something totally unexpected. Some could leave you, following a path that no one dared to walk through, unless ready to face the life beyond. It could be predicted, but most of the time it’s sudden. Worst is, it is.

Accept that life is full of surprises.
Good or bad. Be prepared.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.

-written Aug, 06 2007