Rewind or Fast Forward

I can't describe the feeling on how I would react last night seeing two person who affects my state before. Two different person,two different reaction and two different situation from then 'till now. Funny coz I don't even know how to react now. Anyway, I was left dumbfounded twice after last night. First after we ate dinner, I was looking at the old folk I've know before but his trying to figure out where he'd seen me. Darn it, do I look that hideous and fat for people not to recognize me?! Oh well, we did talk about the things but my cousin has to butt in, to well stop the "moment", hell! thanks cuz! Then he left but did look for me to bid goodbye, leaving me thinking that he change so much but his still that nice guy ever since I've known him. Second was after that goodbye, I was shocked seeing his person coming, its like a slow motion scene but then realizing that I was part of a practical joke when I saw the person behind. But this time I was not given any change to chit chat but could constantly catch someone looking. On one instance I smiled and he smiled back, darn if only he could hear my side comments which made my cousin laugh. Funny how that night end, I asked my relative's, my dad and mom that I'll go ahead and hit the sack coz I'm really sleepy though it's not yet midnight. I asked my brother to bring me home because I'm too sleepy, just to learn that he was also leaving (that early), I mean "they". I don't know if that a coincidence or if I'm hallucinating but I saw him looking at our ride while we leave. Is he eyeing my brother?! Harhar but for cheese sake, his with someone!
Oh well, that was just it. I rarely visit those cousin of mine and I rarely go to that side of my world, Why? Because they don't know whole complete me, most of them knew me as their precious, sweet, dear cousin whose having weight problems as of the moment but can still get back on track in no time, the only daughter of their cool uncle who knew what she wants. Yes, everything about me is positive and good on that end of the road. Sometimes, I like that thought but most of the time it makes me sick coz it's making me realize on how huge their expectation from me is and it sucks. Oh darn life, even their welcome questions, Where is your boyfriend? And when are you getting married? I know I'm not that young anymore but please I don't even have one and marriage is not yet on my vocabulary. And I know I'm bitter because recently someone.. ah never mind.
Anywho back on the real topic, that was just like a gist of something which made me remember that chapter of my past, my insecure highshool days til my exciting college years, Me being the aloof, snobbish, unknown, off-limits cousin of their friend.