Balut misadventure in Galera

Balut is one of the delicacies we pinoy love, at night people would hear vendors selling balut and penoy around. According to pareng wiki, a balut is a fertilized duck (or chicken) egg with a nearly-developed embryo inside that is boiled and eaten in the shell. Popularly believed to be an aphodisiac and considered a high-protein, hearty snack, balut are mostly sold by street vendors in the regions where they are available. They are often served with beer. In tagalog, Ang Balut ay isang nilagang itlog ng itik na naglalaman ng sisiw na 18 na araw ang gulang, mayaman sa protina, bitamina, at mineral ang balut kaya itinuturing ng mga Filipino bilang pagkaing pampalakas. Oh diba!

Moving forward, I love eating balut when I was a kid, I grew up with my lolo and lola so madalas kinakain ko mga kinakain nila, isaw, betamax, adidas, bituka ng manok, binatog, penoy and the famous balut. I can remember eating even the 'bato' the white part of the balut, loving the yellow part of it, the juice and even eating the sisw it self, hindi kase mukhang sisiw. Pero nung nag grade six ako natrauma ko in eating balut, pano?

Dahil mahilig ako sa balut(kaya ang lapad ko eh), my cousins and I would always buy balut at night, one time Daniel(my late cousin, he died in an accident a couple of years ago) told us that we can buy balut in a lower price, we just have to get the cracked eggs and manang would give it half the price(nice bargain huh). So off we go, I bought 2 each, while eating it at our terrace, Daniele showed me the balut he got, holding the nearly developed duck in its beak, I freaked out. Hindi ko na nakain ung balut ko, kitang kita ko ung itsura ng duck na halos buo na, may gulay hndi ako maarte or what pero di ko kinaya un. Since then I never ate balut ever, I would jsut buy penoy instead. But last March 20, dinare ako ng mga officemate ko after 13 long years of not eating balut dinare ako to eat one, mygulay never ako nagbackout sa dare, napasubo ata ako suskopo. I first ate 1 penoy, pampagana hahaha.. and then..

the balut

and I ate it

then I loved it...

Ang sarap shoot, ngayon ko lang ulit na try yan at ayun nung gabing nagiinuman hinahanap ko ung nagtitinda ng balut hahaha..

pagdating ko dito sa bahay, nagpabili ulit ako ng balut haha chet bisyo na 'to..

Bukas

Bukas bagong araw nanaman, magsusulat nanaman ako,

tatawa, mangungulit, magiisip.
Bukas hindi ko na titignan o babalikan mga messages mo,

paulitulit ko na kasi binasa ngayon, tama na siguro un.
Bukas hindi na ko galit, hindi na ko magmumukmok, hindi na ko iiyak.
Bukas hindi na kita iisipin, itatago ko na lang lahat ng alaalang iniwan mo.
Parte ka na ng buhay ko, ng nakaraan ko,

wala na ko magagawa dun at tinagap ko un hindi mo man hiniling.
Bukas haharapin ko na buhay ko, buhay na malamang hindi ka kasama,

hindi ko ginusto pero ganon ata talaga.
Bukas hindi ko man alam kung ano nakalaan para sakin,

makasalubong man kita muli o hindi,
ano man ang mangyari, tingin ko kakayanin ko na.

My rainbow

My Rainbow

Color red that shines above,
Full of confidence and courage I love.
Followed by orange with cheer,
Dreamy, thoughtful and sincere.
Yellow rays of joy and happiness,
With skillful hands and intellectual prowess.
And finding green in the middle,
The center which balance the angle.
Next in line, blue trace and shine,
Its youth, confidence and strength combine.
Then this mystical borderland of wisdom,
Indigo here he comes.
All supported by violet,
The warmest and coolest.
Each color represents some one dear,
Never thought our lives will cohere.
They are the colors that are part of my life,
My rainbow after a stormy night.

each color represents one important person, just make a wild guess

Rainbow fascinates me, how on earth God let those last little droplets of water, create such a beautiful scenery, once master sun rays, hit them.. so simple yet so gorgeous.. everyone would stop and look at it.. then would make me think again, if there's really a pot of gold at the end of each..
hmmmm for me, YES there's a lot of golden chocolate coins not just at the end of my rainbow but all over it..

Life

Happiness keeps you sweet,
Though sadness makes you weep.
Sorrow keeps you human,
Not broke, not undone.
Courage keeps your goals,
Makes us alive and feeds our souls.
Trials keep you strong,
But committing mistakes isn’t wrong.
Failure keeps you humble and success keeps you glowing,

but only
Faith & Attitude Keeps you going..

written Feb 9, 2009 -chinkay-

Thoughts - JGB

Just Got Back (wala lang pauso ko lang..)
Kadadating ko lang aling galera whew ang saya bitin parin ako.. dami ko kwento kaso gusto ko may mga pictures na kasama.. kwento ko un pagkaupload ng mga photos :D
Kakaloka rin dami na huhumaling mag blog ngayon ha.. atleast dami gusto ma update sa gma buhay buhay.. online diary kumbaga.. Moving forward.. sarap mag kwento about sa vacation ko promise sulat ko un.. dami ko na idea how to narrate may story.. may mga bago, may mga luma na bumalik, may nakakaali at may nakakalungkot.. may chismis at meron din revelations whoaw, mngayon ko lang narealiaze na 3days 2 nights lnag eh dami na nagyari..
oh well.. kwento ko bukas promise..

Sermon

Oh akala ko, ok ka na? Kala ko ba napagusapan nanatin yan, nung huling beses tayong nagkita, basag na basag ka pa nun, laklakin mo ba naman ung tatlong litrong red horse. Eh anong ineemote-emote mo dyan ngayon? Akala ko ba ok na, makakaya mo na.

Sign?! anak ng tokwa naman, ano pa bang sign hinihingi mo, ang mabuntis si Bebe Gandanghari? Neng parang sinabi mo na for life ka na magiging ganyan.

Sabihin mo nga ulit sakin kung ilan beses ka na umiyak, nagmaktol, nagalit, naghurumintado, nayamot, naasar pero iisa lang naman nirereklamo mo sakin, siya. Nung nakaraan mga araw, galit na galit ka, kulang na lang eh basagan mo ng bote ung magbabalot na dumaan, dahil sabi mo tinatarantado ka, ginagawa kang tanga ng lalaking un. Tapos ilan araw lang eto ka nanaman, ano bang klaseng utak meron ka gurl?

Nandun na tayo mahal mo, putchang pagmamahal naman yan! Mahal mo nga, eh mahal ka ba? Importante ka ba sa kanya? Ni hindi nya sinabi sayo kung ano ung totoo, malalaman mo na lang ganon, ganto. Tapos ano? Wala. Kelan ba nasagot lahat ng tanong sa utak mo? Kelan ba dumating ung point na wala ka na agamagam? Oo masaya ka, fine, napapangiti ka nya, fine, naramdaman mo importante ka sa kanya, fine parin, pero gaano katagal un? 2 days, 3 days tapos ano, wala nanaman. Sabi mo nga nagmukha ka nang katawatawa sa harap ng mga kaibigan nya. Oo nasaksihan ko un, gusto na nga kita dagukan eh, kaso naawa ako sayo, pinagtatawanan ka na nga, babatukan pa kita.

Tapos hihirit ka ng what if what if dyan ngayon? Eh ilan beses ko rin ba sinabi sayo na hindi matatapos ang kalokohan mo kung lagi ka na lang aasa sa what if mo. What if kayo talaga? Eh what if hindi naman pala. Sus may anak na ung tao, hindi kasal, fine.. di pa tali, ano naman ngayon? Meron naman dyan walang sabit, single, mabait, mapera, gwapo pero ano dinahilan mo sakin, kesyo hindi mo mahal. Punyetang pagmamahal yan. Ilan beses ka na ba ginago nyan ha? Dalawa o tatlong beses na? Tapos pagbumalik sayo konting lambing lang, konting sabi lang ng "ikaw naman talaga mahal ko eh", bibigay ka na agad. Gaga ka rin kase, kung una pa lang hindi mo na hinyaan mangyari, kung una palang hindi mo na siya tinanggap pabalik edi sana hindi na naulit. Ang bait mo kase eh hindi ka marunong magsalita, nagmumura ka na sa loob mo, pero oo at hindi parin lang sagot mo, ni hindi mo masabihan ng panget na bagay ung isang un, kahit totoo naman.

Dadahilan mo sakin kesyo mahal mo, mahal mo pero umiiyak ka naman ngayon. Eh yang lalaking yan, sigurado ka bang mahal ka nya? Kung mahal ka nun, ipapakita at papatunayan nya un sayo, kahit anong pang delubyo mangyari. Kung mahal ka nun hinding hindi ka nya sisisihin kahit gaano pa kabigat ginawa mo kasalanan, meron man o wala. Kung mahal ka nun, hindi ka nya gagawin dahilan sa mga pagkakamali nya. Kung mahal ka nun hindi ka nya pagmumukhaing tanga o kakawawa, saharap ng kaibigan nya, kaibigan mo at sa kahit sinong tao. Kung mahal ka nun kahit sinong dyosa ang lumapit sa kanya hindi ka kapagpapalit nun. Kung mahal ka nun hindi ka niya sasaktan intensyonal man o hindi.

Nakita mo na ba sarili mo sasalamin? Almost 15 years na tayo magkakilala, never kita nakita ganyan kamiserable. Please lang konting respeto, at mahalin mo naman ulit sarili mo, ikaw lang at wala nang iba makakatulong sayo. Alam ko tanga ka, martir ka, bulag, eh kapansanan mo na yan, wala na ko magagawa. Pero ikaw meron, alam mong may gamot dyan, ayaw mo lang inumin. Bakit, kc mapait? Hindi mo gusto lasa? Eh paano kagagaling?


Disclaimer: Ito ay para sa kaibigan kong si Mae. "Gurl gising na sisimulan pa natin ung bagong libro, ikaw ang writer, buhay mo ang topic."

Thoughts

Sakit parin ng ulo ko, I've written 2 poems today and one pending kalokohan(essay). Eto madalas ko gawin when ever I wanted to forget about things, when I wanted to ignore the usual things I do, when I don't want to be affected by those pollutants surrounding me, but then again, I end up having a bad headache and being frustrated than ever. Writing has been a therapy for me, nakakalimutan ko ung oras when ever I'm writing. Kung ano ano pumapasok sa utak ko, I can pretend, nang walang naapektohang ibang tao, wala kailangan itago becuase I'm writing it, walang kailangan intindihin dahil ako ang nagsusulat, its like tapping my fingers while listening to my favorite music, ganon siya ka simple, minsan reflexes na lang at ganon ako kakomportable. Pero bakit nga ba ko nagsusulat? Bakit ko ba pinapaskit ang ulo ko kakaisip ng mga salita para lang magkatugma tugma nga ito? Bakit kailangan ko kalakalin mga hidden emotions, thoughts, opinions etc. ko?

Hhhmmmm wala lang, para sakin self expression, gusto ko may evidence lahat ng nangyayari sakin, tapos pagbinalikan ko tatawanan ko na lang, diba nakakaaliw ung ganon feeling. Ung tipong nasasabi mo lahat ng mga nasa utak mo ng walang iniintidi. Minsan kase feeling ko infomation overload na ko eh hahaha. Hindi naman kase ko atribida, most of the time I keep mum if ever I'm not being ask. kahit na kung ano ano nang opinyon pumapasok sa utak ko.
I'll quote this

And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the
outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy
to creativity is self-doubt. ~Sylvia Plath

And yes, I have guts coz I mostly write about my life, mine alone and no one can't take that away. Self-doubt sometimes is inevitable but for me writing is aswell a devotion, a passion and an instinct.

MOP

MOP=More Old Poems

FUNNY LIFE

I believe we write our own stories
and each time we thought we knew the end?
We don't.
Perhaps luck exists,
somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance
and in the peace that comes from knowing that you can't just know it all.
Life's funny that way.
Yes, life is simple, you make your choices and you don't look back.
Once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong.

inspried by little black book movie written July 28, 2008


TRUTH

The acceptance of the truth that joy and sorrow,
laughter and tears, success and failure
are not confined to any particular time, place or people,
but are universally distributed and should make us more tolerant of
and more interested in the lives of others..
not to mimic, not to compare, not to envy
but instead to learn, to understand and to cope..

I've learned that to be true, I must fully accept that at this moment,
I can only be what and who I am.. No more, No less..
However, with the inevitable passing of each moment of time,
I will gradually, but surely change...
to become more or less, better or worse, stronger or weaker..
My choice is the direction of change..
It is mine alone..
The only true competition is this rivalry with my changing self..
It is the very basis of the grand eternal plan.

wala lang written July 31, 2008


DELICIOUS AMBIGUITY

I still dream of a fairy tale story for my life,
surpassing all hardships
and a happily ever after ending with my prince charming.
I’ve wanted a perfect ending.
But now I've learned, the hard way,
that some poems don't rhyme,
and some stories don't have a clear beginning, body, and ending..
That I thought I've already gone through the worst, but I was wrong.
We can never write our life story and predict the ending,
know when should be the climax,
limit the chapters and know when the dead line is.
Life is about not knowing, having to change,
taking the moment and making the best out of it,
without knowing what's going to happen next.
Delicious Ambiguity.

i love this written Aug. 26, 2008


STILL CRYING

It’s been a while..
That my wrists are crying, dark, crimson tears
They’re shedding their sadness, they’re shedding their fears
Can't you see, they’re not shedding a smile?
Last time they did that, damn its been a while
Now look at my eyes, they’re starting to flood
Don’t you notice that they are full of blood
Right down my arms, right now my cheeks
I’m not feeling whole, i actually feel weak
My body’s going numb, I’m starting to speak
Crying that isn’t over, that I’m still not free
If only you could notice, if only you could see
I never wanted this to happened
But im still suffering from the pain
Wonder when it would end..

part 2 of may first poem pain inside, written Nov. 6, 2008

Realities about Love

** Love is not enough to make a relationship work - it needs compatibility and it needs commitment.

** It just takes a moment to experience infatuation, but true love takes time. Loving or liking a person doesn't happen overnight.

** To love is to risk not being loved in return.

** Love is over-stated. Love eventually ends and you are free to love another.

** It is possible to experience true love with more than one person there are many potential partners you could be happy with.

** The right partner will fulfill many of your needs but not all of them.

** Good sex has nothing to do with true love, but making love does.

its not a poem but a reality check for me, include ko na rin, July 28, 2008

OP

OP = Old Poems, mala tulang nilulumot na sa taguan ko.. post ko ulit dito..

Dahil na tats ako kay asher yan na po rewust mo copy pase ko na lahat dito at may nagrereklamo na ang dami ko na post sa comic strip ko na ito hahaha!

PAIN INSIDE

I lay in bed at night with tears in my eyes
Trying not to cry
All this pain inside
I just want to hide
I try and try
But it won't go away
It stays locked in my heart
I feel like I'm falling apart
But i hide it deep inside
Where no one can see but me
The tears are starting
Now I'm crying
My heart is dying
But i keep trying my best
Just another night like all the rest
But the hardest part
I can’t complain
That I’m still feeling this inside me
And I know I am to blame

my first ever poem written Dec. 2004 sa sobrang tagal na hindi ko maalala exact dati. naka lagay rin yan sa FS ko..

FOR YOU, FROM ME

Somewhere along the line we lost that bond, the trust.
I miss what used to be and what was us.
The way we talk & those endless nights.
The giggles, those stories and new discoveries..
How we could always convince each other we'd be all right...
Every time one is feeling low, sad and lonely.
Knowing and learning that someone always had your back and cared.

Sharing our most intimate secrets, our own personal jokes.
No hesitations to help out if the other one was broke.
Our friendship was so special filled with happiness.
There was such a strength and not and inch of doubt.
Finishing our sentences before one could even speak.
Never get tired of each other not even after weeks.

I have barely seen you for God knows how long.
Things between you & I have changed.
And our relationship is somewhat strange.
I miss what used to be and what was us.
Time has caused for this to rust.
Enjoying our moments we were so happy.
We treasured every second we spent together.
Held onto the memories like they'd last forever.

Now you're distant from me...
And i know I'm missing you so much.
Your right, we have what we had, on the wrong time..
But I'm happy on what we kept inside our hearts.
Only time could tell what would happen next.
But I’ll keep on hoping, dreaming that someday,
Someday we’ll both say that “this is the right time..”

for someone special, my bestfriend written May 2005, summer vacation.

I DON’T BELIEVE BUT

I don't believe in ghost but I believe in life after death,
and that there is a place where we can feel true serenity..
I don't believe in hearsay instead I search for the truth and facts,
but as they say if there's smoke there's fire..
I don't believe in failure but I believe in continuously struggling to succeed,
and that we should never stop on dreaming and hoping..
I don't believe in defeat but i believe in gambling and risking,
and that one should keep on fighting for triumph..
I don't believe in fate but I believe in hard work and luck,
and that the first often leads to the second..
I don't believe in destiny but i believe in true love,
and that someday somehow, it would still be a happily ever after story..

inspire by a friend, written July 11, 2008

I WILL

I will tell you what I will do and what I will not do.
I will act the way I wanted to,

but I could also show you what you want me to.
I will forget things I have to, those who no longer matter,
one who's creating clear disparity.
I will not serve that in which I no longer believe,

whether it call itself my home.
I will try to express myself in some mode of life or art
as freely and as wholly as I can,
using for my defense the only arms I allow myself to use
— silence, exile and cunning.

may galit, joke lang hahaha written July 17, 2008

STAND UP AND SHOUT

Most of the time we try to hold our emotions,
scared to let people know what we really feel inside..
To frighten to let people learn that deep inside,
the real you wants to break loose..

There should come a time for us to stand up and shout:
"This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think,
feel the way I feel, love the way I love!
I am a whole complex package.
Take me or leave me. Accept me or walk away!
Do not try to make me feel like less of a person,
just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be
and don't try to change me to fit your mold.
If I need to change, I alone will make that decision."

When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%,
good and bad - you will be amazed
at the opportunities that life presents you...

thats me shouting written July 25, 2008

Chameleon

Just read through a co-symbianizer's blog,(asher thanx) it made me think. Qouted

I always ask for you to post your previous poems and other writen works, its
because I wanted to learn from you through those writen works and level up my
knowlage about you. Keep the poems flowing. Ms Understood. :blush:

Hhhmmmm, only few people could really get into my mind, my thoughts. I'm quiet, unreadable, a chameleon. Why chameleon? A friend once told me that I'm really good in showing people that I'm OK even though I'm broken, shattered, jaded, sullen inside, I can crack jokes anytime I want, I can laugh even though I'm crying inside, I can blend, I can pretend, I can show people what I want them to see(not on the negative note). Hardly they know what I really am thinking, feeling.
Why? I used to show people that I'm tough, independent, wise and private, no room for failure. I can't show people I'm crying, don't want to let them know I'm weak, won't let them learn about my frailness. That's the reason I have to create an armor to protect my self, but that clad is like a dagger that's slowly wounding me inside, the part of me who's longing to be understood. So I guess I have to let people in. I have to let them know my other side, let them peek through my thoughts, on how complicated and enigmatic my life is, introduce them to someone, named shayne.

Regalo

New year na at tapos na ang first sunday ng January, pagising ko kanina umaga tinatangal na ng nanay ko ung christmas tree sa sulok ng sala namin. "Chinkay, ung mga regalo mo dito tanggalin mo na, magayos ka na ng kwarto mo, ayoko makita pakalatkalat mga ito dito."
Ako na lang ang hindi nagtatangal ng mga regalo sa ilalim ng christmas tree namin. Pagkatapos magalmusal, nakadalawang balik ako sa sala para maipasok ang mga regalo sa kwarto ko, unti lang un pero natambakan kama ko. Sus dagdag kalat nanaman ito dito. Game na, tangalin ang gift tag, itago sa small box , para may reference ako for the next holidays. Itapon ang gift wrapper at itago ang paper bag sayang eh, pwede pa magamit. Nang matapos ako, I got a couple of shirt, books, planner, perfume, flipflops and tumblers. Anak ng, bakit ako bumili ng libro at shirt nung isang linggo, eh meron papala dito. Tsk tsk tsk.

Madalas marami tayong mga bagay bagay na naiisan tabi, hindi natin pinapansin, dinadaandaan lang, akala kase natin nanadyan lang. Hindi natin alam na may role pala silang gagampanan sa buhay natin. Parang isang taong nandyan lang, lagi naghihintay na mapansin mo, pero dahil abala kakaisip sa iba, kakahabol sa taong gusto mo, hindi mo na siya napapansin. Minsan huli na, pagpinagtuunan na natin ng oras, panahon at atensyon, hindi na tulad ng dati, iba na pala purpose nya, malamang nagsawa, napagod at nawalan na ng pagasa. Sayang.

Napasin ko meron mga regalo na nilapag ko sa gulid ng kama ko, regalo na hindi ko naibigay. Ung isa sa inaanak ko, ipaaabot ko na lang. Meron sa officemate ko, bibigay ko sa tuesday pagpasok. Eto kay Nikki, matext nga at lagi naman tambay dito un malapit samin. Ung isa papatawagan ko sa nanay ko at ung isa papa-ship ko sa Davao. Pero may isa pangnatitira, hindi nakabalot pero alam ko, may pagbibigayan dapat ako nun. Ito ang problema wala ko kakilala na pwede ko pagabutan para makarating sa kanya un, hindi ko rin siya nakikita o nakakasabay, wala rin ako direct number para macontact at hindi ko alam ang address niya para ipadala. Asar, binigyan pa ko ng problema. Ano nga ba gagawin ko dito, isang pares nangblue slippers, hindi ko naman pwede gamitin dahil paniguradong malaki sakin 'to, hindi kasya sa tatay ko malaki rin, hindi rin kasya sa mga utol ko maliit naman. Susko naman, ano gagawin ko dito, isang pares ng tsinelas, ibebenta ko kaya, kanino naman? Hmmm, pagtinapon ko ito, (ung parang ginawa ni Rizal, pero sakin pares na siya)swerte ng makakapulot, makakatulong pa ko, pero paano kung walang makapulot tapos masira lang, sayang naman. Asar, ano gagawin ko dito?

Lahat ng bagay ay may dahilan kung bakit sila ang eexist sa mundo. Bawat tao, pangyayari, lugar at sitwasyon na nangyayari sa buhay mo, maganda o pangit, lahat yan may dahilan. Parang ung tsinelas, ibibigay ko ito sa isang tao, nakalaan ito para sa kanya. Kaya hindi siya magkasya sa iba, walang bumibili at nakakapanghinayang itapon.

Maraming pangyayari sa buhay ko, nanaging daan para pangaralan ako, ang turuan akong unahin at mahalin ang sarili ko at malaman na kahit anong tago ang gawin ko sa likod ng maskara ng pagiging matapang, palaban at matigas, tao parin ako, marunong masaktan, umiyak at mapagod. May iba namang tinuruan akong magising sa katotohanan, na kahit gaano ako katanga, kamartir at kapraning sa taong mahal ko, isalang ang tanong sakin, masaya ka ba? Pinakita nila na may hangganan din pala ang kagagahan ng isang tao. Sa huli, isang tao lang ang dapat mo isalba, ikaw, sarili mo wala nang iba.

Marami na akong bagay na natangap, binili, sinaoli at pinahiram, alam ko na lahat ng iyon ay sadyang nakalaan para magkaroon ng kabuluhan ang pananatili nila sa mundo. Binigay man o pinahiram, ang alam ko lang, nagbigay katuturan sila sa buhay ko.

What I wasted

I wasted a lot of time thinking about you,
but treasured those moments, happy and blue..

I wasted buckets of tears I shed every night,
but kept those dreams, having you by my side..

I wasted tons of emotion I kept inside,
but never did I have to hide..

I wasted all those feelings, I held, I kept,
but not those affection you shared, you left..

I wasted all hope, wishes, visions and even cue,
but one things left, memories of you, who I fell in love to..

written Jan 21, 2009 -chinkay-

Living

I always learn the hard way
Even though I know what to do
I still keep the hard-headed me, each and every time
I listen, I'm a good listener, I think..
But when decision making comes along
I ask for opinion but do what ever I want
No matter if its right or wrong..

I'm a risk taker but something, someone
Came along and I never dared to try..
I know the reason, I'm not brave enough..
I realize that what I'm showing people now is a cover up..
An armor I created to protect my self..
Is it wrong to try to prevent my self from hurting?
That's the only way I know to keep me from dying..
I regret what happened, still I feel the pain..
I tried to spare my self, I failed, I was hooked..
Now I have to save my self from this poison I willingly took..
But I know, I'll live.. sure I will.. hopefully soon..

written Jan 6, 2009 -chinkay-

- idol asher update ko na blog yan.. para sayo hahaha.. but i wont include poems I wrote before 2009, just wait for me to update Our Sweet Corner para sa mga lumang pomes ko :punish: mahirap magkalkal no hahaha..salamat sa pagbabasa :blush:

Poem Gift Giving

Asher created a new thread in symbianize, Poem Gift Giving. Nice just in time coz I just finish a poem entitle My Rainbow for my chocofam labsyu all (I'll post it soon, thanx kapatid for checking). First I want to share the Poem from asher thankz thankz "Chinks gep from asher"

Chinks

I look and see two figures
Of the same lass standing there
Staring at my direction.

The left one was dressed in black,
The right one was dressed in white,
And there was no gray in sight.

I immediately notice
These unique strangers I see
Is just a single lady

The lady that hurts or heals
And never seen in between
Only pure extremities.

She could be your best of friend
Or your worse of enemy
It’s up to you to select.

Because you could never win
If you just sit and play safe
In the strange game of her life.

And just to quote what she said;
“You know you wouldn't want it,
Want it any other way.”


An in exchange I created one for asher :wink:
a.s.h.e.r.

A knight in a clad,
So wise and grand.
Humble though his marvelous,
Exeptional, he is a geneous.
Roughly, he's great
..keep on writing mate.


And another on for memoy but I intended to create a more decent one harharhar!
Memoy

Hiyas daw kung tituring
Itong batang magiting
Walang sawa kang kukulitin
Para sa kanya iya'y lambing

Kahit saan mo siya isabak
Basta hawak ay panulat
Ika'y kanyang imumulat
Sa katotohanang hawak

I'm thinking of writing poems for all chocofam, pero di gumagana braincells ko :rofl: nakagawa na ko ng 2 para kila secret pero 4 lines lang un.. sana pwede na un ang hirap kase :giggle:
And ofcourse I'll post it here soon..

WTF!

Not really a nice day, arg! Frustrating really frustrating.. yung feeling na why-do-I-have-to-defend-my-self-if-I'm-not-doing-anything-day. Arg! darnit look my not a good liar you know, so please if you can't just simply understand just get out of my life, don't be that someone running back to tell me things(you know I would believe) then after a second crash my world again.
Wag ka pakasiguro dude, hindi ako lang nandito lang, I can even crash your would if I wanted to, wag mo ko hamunin, hindi porke alam mo na I'm-miss-always-here eh lagi ka welcome baka magulat ka pagbinagsakan kita ng pinto. Amf! your getting into nerves again gadammit!!

Isa pa ang dami mga pakealamaera sa mundo wala naman alam. Oo aminado ko pakealamera ko, pero hindi nangingialam sa buhay ng ibang tao at hindi ako malisyosa pwe! Wala ka na ba masabi at kung ano ano na inuungkat mo dyan? At wag ako banatan ng malinis, dahil hindi ako nagmamalinis, at hindi ako malinis noh. Pero hindi tayo pareho dahil hindi ko kailangan ng atensyon, hindi ko kailangan gumwa ng storya para mapansin at hindi ko kailangan pakialaman ang buhay ng ibang tao, dahil buhay ko muna ang papakialaman ko kesa may mamuna agad sakin sa pakikialam ko. Kung wala ka magawa magpakamatay ka na lang hindi ka kawalan sa mundo, pampadagdag ka lang sa populasyon alat ka!

?

Leaving is hurtful,

When there are things you remiss..

Waiting is painful,

No matter how short it is..

Forgetting is dreadful,

No one can get through this..

But not knowing is awful,

Worst kind of suffering which exist..

written March 13, 2009 -chinkay-


* Dahil hindi ako makasulat ng update sakin, mga recent poems ko muna.. Yan pa lang kase nagagawa ko lately. Saka na ko magkwento ng update sakin. I usually express my self through poems and essays when I cant just simply write whats really going on. May masaya naman nagyari last week end ung vacation namin.. Promise next entry ko un na lalagay ko dito about sa vacation namin sa villa. masaya kase un eh.

Pangalan

Nakita ko link na ito whatsyournameshiddenmeaning at siyempre hanapin ko ang hidden meaning ng name ko. eto ung natuklasan ko

You Are Seductive and Ruthless.
You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
Whoaw! Seductive pero ruthless taray, pangkontrbida ang dating, ayyllaaabbeettttt. Pero sandali kelan ba ko nakapangseduce? Kung seductive and suave nga ko bakit wala parin ako boyfriend hanggang ngayon. Bolahan lang ata 'to eh(pero magpapabola ko). Ung sexy, wag na muna nating pagusapan, nahuhurt ako, truth really hurts lalo na kung pinamumukha sayo ang katotohanan na majubis ako! Strong and smart parang ito na ung sumagot sa taong ko kanina, sabi nga ni Oprah “The smarter the woman gets, the more difficult for her to find the right man.” Agree! Ruthless? hmmm well, mabait ako sa taong mabait sakin, pero kung masama ugali mo mas masama ugali ko sayo. Ganon lang naman ka simple un.

You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.
Huuwaaat! I can influence almost everyone and crush the weak. Sandali, sandali alam ko nahayok ako sa black magic dati pero hindi naman ganon kasama ugali ko noh. Masarap magpahirap, pero hindi ko masyadong naeenjoy un. Haha! joke. Maimpluwensya pala ako, hindi ko alam un ah, hhhmmm pagsinabi ko kaya kay *bleep* "Tumalon ka sa from the 36th floor of Enterprise Tower" tatalon nga kaya siya? Hahahaha!

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
NO TO PIRACY talaga ko, kaya hindi ko alam na mas mura bumili sa Quaipo ng dvd kesa sa St. Francis Square, Starmall, Greenhills at Divisoria. Un nga lang pag sa Quaipo ka bumili kailangan mo mamili ng bibilan kc baka panget ung kopyang makuha mo, hanapin mo si Manong Duds, malinaw mga dvd copy nya, puro latest movies ung tinda at matatawaran mo pa.

Success comes rather easily for you.. especially in business and academia.
Graduate po ko ng Accountancy sa Polytechnic University of the Philippines saktong 4 years ko tinake at natapos un, tinamad nga lang ako mag review for board, hindi parin ako sinisipag hanggang ngayon. Nabibilang ako sa section 1 class nung highschool at grade school ako, wala ko binagsak na subject, pero nangodiko sa Integral Calculus, takte mahal ko ang math pero hirap talaga nyan, hindi ko maintindihan. Salutatorian ako nung Pre-school, hindi ako nagbabaon ng pera nun, magaling kc magluto nanay ko at hindi mahilig sa tocino.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are usually the best at everything.. you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.
I make it a point na nasasabi ko mga opinion ko, pero hindi ako ganon ka vocal, basta ang sinisigurado ko sinasabi kung ano totoo. Medyo perfectionist nga talaga ko diba kapatid? Pero aware naman ako na wala perfect sa mundong ito. If loving my self more than any other is selfishness, well I guess I am. Tinangal ko minsan ung maskarang ginawa ko para makilala nila kung sino talaga ko, pero walang nangyari, akala ko letting people in to my life would make them understand and appreciate me more, I was wrong or probably I just expected too much, I was hurt. Pero hindi ko pinagsisihan un, ginusto ko rin naman kase. Masakit pala masaktan, lalo na at wala ko masisi kundi sarili ko, kaya kesa makita ng ibang tao ang weakness ko, ung other side ko, mas ok na siguro makita nila ung mataray at masungit na ako. Poprotektahan ko muna sarili ko ngayon, hanggang sa mabuo ulit siya, hanggang sa kaya ko na ulit siyang hayaan masaktan.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
Inshort, gago, tarantado at sira ulo ko. Hahahaha.
May nagtek: from symb-cold: peep ano gawa mo?
reply ko: Eto nagsusulat ng kalokohan, ikaw pa? bakit gising ka pa?
symb-cold: Anu nanaman yan sinusulat mo?
reply ko: kalokohan lang pa, tatlo na pending hindi ko matapos tapos.
symb-cold: Very good. Kung ano ano nanaman yan.
reply ko: Oi, matino mga sinusulat ko, eto title, Kape, sisig, yosi at ikaw, Backspace, delete at ctrl+z at latest Bag. Malalim akong tao noh, hindi nga lang ako marunong lumangoy.
(anung koneksyon? hindi ko rin alam)

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.
No comment ako dito. Baket? Wala nga ko syota settling down pa, nagaasar ba 'to?

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
Bilog ang mundo, wala sulok wala kanto. Kung may tatalikurang ka ngayon, tandaan mo na kailangan mong libutin ulit ang buong mundo bago mo ito makasalubong at makaharap muli.You also have a very active imagination.

You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
Sa madaling sabi, praning akong tao at panalo ko magisip(don't make me elaborate kc hindi ko rin magets takbong utak ko). Marami ko listahan ng what if sa buhay ko, paginisaisa ko un, makakagawa ako libro mas makapal pa sa telephone directory nyo. Yes, ang imagination ko ay extreme, wag nyo na rin ipaditalye, mahirap na. A little paranoia and jealousy, yan ang malaking kasinungalingan dito, hindi totoo yan, maniniwala na sana ako, magpapabola na kaso sumablay na dito. Ang totoo hindi little yan dahil SUPER selosa ko at SUPER paranoid ako, sabi ko nga masyado active ang brainscells ko eh, kasama yan dun. Un ngang tao hindi ko syota gusto ko lang(at hindi ko alam kung gusto parin ako) pero may kinakausap na iba, umuusok na ilong ko sa selos eh pano kung syota ko na.
Note: If I'm in a relationship, I'm the jealous paranoid type but patient enough to understand and handle a serious long term relationship. (Ibenta ba daw ang sarili.. Haha!)

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat.
May naalala lang ako sermong sinabi sakin sakin, "Alam ko kaya mo magadjust, nakita ko un pano mo gawin un para sa iba. Mahaba pasensya mo, sobrang haba, hindi ba mapapatid yan? Oo marunong ka umintidi, inintidi mo nga lahat kahit hindi mo na kaya, eh ikaw naiintidihan ka ba? Ang bait mo kase masyado, hindi mo ba nakikita naabuso ka na?"

Your easy going attitude brings people together.At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.
"What you see is what you get.." That phrase is not applicable to me. Hindi ako mukhang approachable at hindi ako mukhang friendly. Pero hindi ko iyan ang makukuha kong description sa mga kaibigan ko. Masungit na mataray pa, malandi, akala mo naman kung sino hindi naman maganda, wag yan marami namang iba dyan, yan ang ilan sa mga comment natatangap ko sa ibang taong hindi ako kilala.
Pero eto lang yan eh, hindi ko sinasabi na kilalanin ninyo ko at hindi ko rin sinasabi na gustuhin ninyo ko, pero hindi ninyo pwede husgahan ang isang taong hindi ninyo lubusang kilala. Kaya ang sagot ko, "Kiber! Hindi nila ko kilala para sabihan ako ng ganon, I can't please everbody and I won't, unless I want to. If they dont like me, who gives them the idea that I do like them."
Bow!


di ako makapagsulat kaya post ko na lang muna ito :sigh:

Mix Emotions

Hindi ko na update ito pano busy ako kakaisip nang manyayari last week, pero update ko kayo ng what happen before ako mgpost ng latest.

Ilan araw ako hindi makaget over sa gloomy feeling learning that Francis M died, I never expected at sobrang panghihinayang, I'm a big fan of hiphop, RnB and rap music, of francism genre iba kase, loving his songs grabe everytime marinig ko mga songs nya naiiyak talaga ko. Big influence sakin si kiko 4 songs na hindi ko makakalimutan at hindi nawala sa PC ko. Awint ng Kabataan, Friends, Girl be Mine and Kaleidoscope world. I love hiphop and rap, dancer kase ko more on hiphop and street dancing kaya kinalakihan ko ang nayan genre na music. Tapos naalala ko ung post ko na 'Death' (post ko rin dito pagupdated na mga sinusulat ko)parang hindi mo talaga alam kung kelan ka, if he needs you na. I can't question His will but still may panghihinayan diba?

Kapagod pero sobrang saya naman, kababalik lang namin from our family vacation (chocofam it is) kwento at share ko mga pic sa susunod na blog ko.. may hangover pa ko ng outing saya..

Dapat ang music ko is Girl be Mine ni FrancisM pero mas ok ito..


Friends by Francis Magalona

Friends is a word we use every day
But most of the time we use it in the wrong way
Now you can look the word up again and again
But the dictionary doesn’t know the meaning of friends
Now if you ask me you know I couldn’t be much of help
Because a friend’s somebody you judge for yourself
Some are okey and they treat you real cool
And some mistake kindness for being a fool
We like to be with some because they’re funny
Others come around when they need some money
Some you grew up with around the way
And you still grow close to this very day
Homeboys through the summer, winter, spring and fall
And then there are some we wish we never knew at all
The list goes on again and again
But then these are the people that we call…

Friends, how many of us have been?
Friends, ones we can depend on
Friends, how many of us have them?
Friends, before we go any further

Let’s be friends, they come in all sizes and shapes
Try to count how many of them are we gonna make in a lifetime
We don’t know for sure how many like a child take to candy
Massive or plenty, or dwindlin’ if you live a life o’ swindlin’
And dealin’ and wheelin’ or takin’ heroin like Weiland
La vie en rosem c’est la vie take a pause
Will it include me, myself and I with a clause?
Applause, so selfish of myself
To forget without friends, we be worthless
We won’t even worth____
Pardon my lingo, my stilo’s kinda harsh
We got to mingle, tickle them funny bones
Makes it a whole lot sweeterMargarita,
I be swayin’ when I take the BJ Flaming Bikini
Play Godini, that’s what I say

Friends, how many of us have been?
Friends, ones we can depend on
Friends, how many of us have them?
Friends, before we go any further

Kras

Waaahh ang cute nya, ang cute ng nose tska ng eyes may braces, kaso hindi matangkad pero pwede :giggle:. Natatawa ko susko, sa tinagal tagal ko sa opisinang yan ngayon lang ako nagkacrush sa officemate ko, hindi ko pa kilala, wala ko idea kung sino siya, kung bago lang siya at kahit name hindi ko alam waaaahh anuber!
Nagcommune kame kanina, bugnot pa ko, I'm in the middle of analyzing one hell of a composition when, Jecky interupted me for a refresher in xbox live, what the hell! I got 10 out of 10 on the online exam but his pulling me out for a commune, what the F! But still do I have a choice its either I'll deal with Coy for more than an hour of conversation just because I don't want to have a refresher or follow Jecky and waste 30minutes of my time. Decision, hmmm.. 30minutes versus an hour. Fine 30 minutes of none sense is good enough than agrue for an hour or so.
Pagpasok ko sa conference room nandun na siya, si Mr. cute nose with braces maygulay bago lang ba siya o dahil ako si Ms. snobbish-stupid-people-don't-exist sa office eh hindi ko siya napapansin. Susko lagi ako nakatingin sa side nya wahahahah I'm so pathetic, 8 lang kase kami sa malaking conference room, hindi ko katapat ng seat si kras, kaya madali sumulyap. Wait wait tama ba un ngumiti siya sakin waaaahhhh susko, anu ba pangalan mo. Hahaha para kong gaga, sino ba siya? Sana hindi lang 30 minutes itong commune. Anu ba kanina ayoko pumunta dito ngayon ayoko umalis, para kong tanga.
Hindi naman siya ang unang napasin kong officemate, meron din ako nakita sa live cute din un, pero takte bakit sinundan ko ng tingin kung san ung station nya :panic:. I need to know his name and kung ano team nya, ano schedule. Chet hindi siya gwapo pero cute sya, siya si Mr. cute nose ko wahahahaa natatawa ko sa kalokohan ko. Sana may shift din siya later, sana may live commune ulit :pacute:.

Bag

Waaahhh nawawala ang susi ko! Kung kelan naman nagmamadali ako dahil paulan na, ang malas ko naman, nasa harap na ako ng gate pero nakalock. Badtrip!May maliit na pouch/inside pocket/secret chuvaness ang bag na gamit ko, kung saan ko nilalagay ang kumpol ng susi ko, susi ng gate, ng main door, ng stockroom at ng kwarto ko ang sama-sama sa keychain na bigay pa ng tita ko. Pero wala dun ung keychain na may susi ng gate, maindoor, stock room at kwarto ko. Ano ba naman kasing bag 'to, hindi ko maayos ayos ang gulo-gulo. Dapat na siguro ko bumili ng bag organizer ng hindi ganto.Araw araw bago pumasok sa opisina, hindi ko man maayos ang bag ko, sisiguraduhin ko naman kompleto ang laman nito. Ang wallet, coin purse, kikay kit, payong, reading glasses, shades, ID's, cologne, panyo, tissue, suklay, swiss knife, ballpen, celphone, charger at susi, yan ang mga bagay na laman ng bag ko araw araw, hindi ko man magamit lahat, hindi ko mawari kung bakit kailangan dala ko silang lahat.

Parang buhay ko, maraming nang mga bagay, tao, pangyayari, sitwasyon, emosyon ang bumuo dito, may nadagdag may nabawas, may mga nananatili may iba rin nakakaligtaan at may nawala pero may dumadating din naman. At alam ko hindi ko man mapansin, daladala ko lagi yan.

Maraming nadadagdag na pangyayari sa buhay ko araw araw, kahit iisang direksyon lang tinatahak ko, meron parin bago sa bawat araw na lumilipas, nabawasan man ang oras na nakatakda sa buhay ko sa mundong ito sigurado naman ako sulit un.

Swerte rin ako kasi maraming mga taong parte na ng buhay ko, mga kaibigan, kamaganak, pamilya, mga nanatili at alam kong mananatili sa tabi ko, para sumuporta at umantabay. Mga taong kahit gaano ako katanga, kahit ilan beses ako magkamali, magmukmok, magalit, magsintemyento alam ko nandyan lang at iniintidi ako. Isa lang masasabi ko sa kanila, salamat. Meron din naman nakaligtaan, mga taong minsan dumaan at naging bahagi, pero alam ko hindi parin nawawala, alam ko nakaligtaan ko man sila, sa oras na kailanganin namin ang isa't isa, walang magdadalawang salita. Oo maling makaligtaan ang mga importaneng bahagi ng buhay ko, kaso tao lang naman ako, hindi ako perpekto. Sa kanila, paumanhin pero nais ko malaman ninyo na, hindi mawawala ang parteng inuukuphan ninyo sa buhay ko.Mayroon naman ibang taong dumating sa buhay ko, pero para umalis din, hindi ko hawak un, wala ko magagawa, kundi tangapin kung un ang tadhana, ang dumaan sila at umalis din. Minsan nagtatagal, minsan nagugulo lang, ung iba papangitin ka para paiyakin pagkatapos. Hindi ko maalis kwenstunin na bakit ganon? Kung bakit sila na nga ung nakikidaan, magiiwan pa ng bakas ng sakit na siguradong mananatili. Parang vandal sa pader, patungan mo man ng pintura hindi mo maitatago na sa likod nun may marka nila.

Mahirap siguro talaga maintindihan ang mga bagay, hanggat hindi mo tanggap. Siguro isipin na lang natin na dadating din ung taong papalit, ung uukopa sa nabakante parte ng pagkatao mo, ung taong hindi na nanasising umalis sa puwang na iniwan ng nawala.

Lahat ng iyan bumuo, sumira, tumulong, nagpaluha, nagpatatag, nagmulat at gumulo sa buhay ko. At oo, tingin ko magulo parin hanggang ngayon, marami paring bagay ang hindi ko maayos, natingin ko dapat na ayusin. Palagay ko pa nga meron mga bagay akong hinahanap na nandyan lang, hindi ko lang nakikita dahil maraming nakasagabal. Siguro kung sasanayin ko ang sarili ko na iorganisa ang lahat ng mga bagaybagay sa buhay ko ngayon marami pa kong matututunan at matatanto.

Ayun nakita ko rin susi ko, nakapulupot sa ID lace ko, sa ilaim ng panyong napatungan ng payong sa loob ng bag. Buti na lang hindi pa bumabagsak ang ulan. Naka, bukas aayusin ko na laman ng bag ko, hmmm un eh kung hindi ako nagmamadali.


written Jan 22 '09 -chinkay-

Hell Day 101

Hell day ngayon maygulay.. ayoko muna pagusapan, pero sumisigaw ng bonggang bongga sa utak ko. Eto nanaman ako sa instinct kong never nagkamali.. At sa mga nabasa kong sagot feeling ko confirmation un :ohno:.
Buong araw akong nasa loob ng kwarto, kalalabas ko lang, nabasa ko ata lahat ng pending ko libro, wala nanaman ako gagawin mamaya. Eto ung mga araw na ayoko eh, ung tipong ayoko na magisip at ayoko na intidihin mga bwisit sa buhay pero pilit silang nagsusumikasik "Hindi ba nila ko tatantanan!".

Tahimik akong tao, bihira ko magbigay ng opinyon ko lalo na kung tingin ko hindi maganda sasabihin ko, pero lately binago ko un. Naisip ko kase mas mabuti nang magsalita kesa mauwi sa isang rambol ang lahat dahil sa hindi pagkakaintindihan. Pero hindi ako marunong magsimula ng away, lagi ako nagtatanong muna para malaman buong storya bago ko manggera kung may dapat gerahin, hanggat mapapalagpas ko, papalagpasin ko yan, pero hindi nila malalaman kung ano inisip ko, iintidihin ko lang lahat.

Paano ko palalagpasin ang HELL DAY ng buo parin ako ganito:

1. Think of happy thoughts! Joke, hindi ako ganon tipo ng tao, lalo ko mababaliw kung gagawin ko yan. Kaya ginagawa ko, eh libas ang lahat ng sigawan na nasa utak ko. (c/o Dear Someone sa symb, pangtangal tension)

Dear Someone,

Sinabi ko lang laman ng utak ko, ang hirap kung tatago ko lang un. At sa reply mo sakin, your making me conclude na tama ung hinala ko. Now kung hinihintay mo sagot ko sa last text mo, you wont be receiving any. Hindi ako mang-aamo dahil mas wala ko ginawang masama. I've been dealing with you for a long time now so dont give me that crap. You know what I'm taking about, I wont be acting like this kung hindi mo ko ginag* dati. So Mr. P your free for a long time now, hindi mo ba narerealize un?

2. Talk. Hindi ko pwede tumahimik, susko baka magkaaltapersyona ko kung tatahimik lang ako kahit na angdami ko gusto sabihin. Sa mga kaibigan ko salamat sa pakikinig. Kahit hindi ko kayo sinusunod, dahil sa katigasan ng ulo ko, salamat sa walang sa walang pagtangkilik sa nakakabaliw kong mga storya at himutok sa buhay.

3. Eat. Yan un eh. Kaya ko lumalapad ng todo. Parang gusto ko kumain dahil sobrang pait ng panlasa ko. Pero tingin ko dahil gutom din ako, buong araw ba naman ako magkulong sa kwarto hindi ka ba naman magugutom nun.

4. Read. I want to move out sa mundo ko kahit sandali lang. Papasukin ko muna ang mundo ng isang libro para marelax utak ko kahit konti. Pero ang catch, give me 5 minuntes at mawawala ang konsentrasyon ko sa binabasa ko dahil bumalik nanaman ako sa mundo kong puro sigalot. :ohno:

5. Sleep. Yun eh kung bibigyan ako ng pagkakataon makatulog kahit sandali.

6. Shower. Hindi pa ko naliligo buong araw noh, natural maliligo naman ako. At para marefresh/mafreshen up, rin naman pakiramdam ko oh ha! :beat:

7. Write. Yan ang ginagawa ko ngayon ang magsulat ng kalokohan umaapaw nanaman sa utak ko. Ayoko mastuck sa isang lugar/bagay/pangyayari kaya sinusulat ko na lang.

8. Final stage. Pagisipan, harapin at pagdesisyonan. Sa anim na pampalipas oras na yan wala mangyayari mabuti pwera dun sa una, medyo nakakabawas ng bigat. Pero alam ko parin kailangan ko gawan ng paraan kung ano mang kabwisitan ang nagyayari ngayon. Ayoko ko nang tumatagal ang mga kaletchehan sa buhay ko, 24hours lang dapat(kung kakayanin).

Disclaimer: Ito po ay mga paraan ni chinkay. Hindi ko alam kung epektib sa iba, pero sakin OO.

Ngayon wala pa ko naiisip kung paano gagawin ko, tinapos ko ang Step 7, nakaligo na ko, pero gutom ulit haha! Ayoko naisipin ito bukas, kung pwede ko tuldukan ngayon gagawin ko na. Sana lang gising pa ung taong concern pagnakapagdesisyon na ko.

Wala kang alam!

"Malandi ka!"
Nagulat ako nung may tumawag sakin ng ganyan, sa tanangan buhay ko wala pa nagsabi sakin na malandi ako ng hindi ako nakikipagbiruan. Naginit ulo ko, kumunot noo at kumulo ang dugo ko. Tatangapin ko na ung maarte, wag lang malandi iba kasi dating, pagiyong salita ang ginamit. Tapos sasabihan ako ng ganon, wala ka alam sakin!

Makalokohan ako yan madalas na sinasabi ng mga kaibigan ko na nakakakilala sakin, puro katrantaduhan laman ng utak, pero pagseryoso seryoso. Tahimik pag may problema pero magaling magtago at magpangap na ayos lang ang lahat. Pero hindi ako mukhang friendly or approachable di gaya ng nanay ko, miss congeniality kasi nanay ko, kahit sino basta ngitian lang siya kakausapin na niya un. Hindi ko na mana un sa kanya, kapareho ko ng ugali tatay ko, tahimik at mukhang laging nakasimangot, sanay nanaman ako na parang lagi ako mukha galit. Dinagdagan pa ng ugaling nakuha ko sa tita ko, maarte, mapili at mabusisi. Oo aminado ko, ganon ako, alam ko rin na hindi ako mabait, masungit, mataray at maangas daw ako tignan.
Kiber! Una hindi ako nanghuhusga ng tao ng hindi ko siya naoobserbahan o nakakusap, kaya madalas inaasahan ko na ganon din ang gagawin sakin ng ibang tao. Mali, sa mundong ito hindi mawawala ang makitid ang utak, mga taong mapanghusga at mga taong hindi nagiisip, sayang naman. (Yan ung mga taong pwede iauction ang bahaging iyon ng katawan, siguradong mahal kasi hindi pa nagagamit. Rare kung baga.)

Sabi nga madaling maging tao pero mahirap magpakatao. Hindi pinagaralan o yaman o estado sa buhay ang pamantayan sa mundong ito kundi ugali at kung paano ka makisalamuha sa iba. Hindi talino sa napagaralan ang basahean kundi talas ng isip kung paano makibagay at kung paano lumaban ng patas para mabuhay. Hindi antas sa lipunan kundi pagpapahalaga sa damdamin at respeto sa kapwa.

Kaya isa lang ang sagot ko sa nagsabing malandi ako, isang malamig na "Hoy, hindi mo ko kilala para sabihan akong malandi, gusto mo magpakilala ko?!


written Jan 19 '09 -chinkay-