Weekend Life

Whoo! after sometime I was able to spend my weekend with my friends and I had a fun weekend.

Saturday: At the back of my head I want to go home early to sleep because I have shopping and dinner date that night. Unfortunately I stayed at the office until 12 noon because I need to complete my phone time. So I got home around 1 o'clock in the afternoon talked to my mom about the birthday surprise that we are organizing for my Aunt on December. I slept for 2 hours and run to Trinoma to meet Midz. While waiting I bought a sponge and e.l.f concealer I've been hunting for ages (I lurve it!). When Midz arrive we head to Ideal Vision in SM North to get me my first pair of contact lenses. The Optometrist checked my eyes and almost tied me just to pull the lenses on lol! (First time eh!) After the my battle, we head to Gerry's to have "light dinner" with Tinz and Nok. Chicka over dinner is the best medicine for all illness lol. Because Nok is annoyed about the sound system and the chaos at Gerry's we just finished our dinner and look for some place to chill when we saw something that made my eyes twinkle on that resto along the way, which made us stay. Darn, I've been looking forward on having him again and there we meet again, a bucket of Tanduay Ice yeah my night is complete. Over chikahan and cigarette smoke my Saturday night is complete. Until I got home and struggled to take off my contact lens for almost an hour. (Note: Thanks to Nok for your coaching me.)

Sunday: Woke up at around 9am and watch some series I've been following for a couple of weeks now when I receive the text from Louise and Nikki to meet them in Starbucks, Araneta at 2pm at first, then was changed to 5pm. I missed this chikahan time with them over coffee, pastries and cigarettes. Of course, a day won't be complete if we won't have kulitan pictures and this time around with an extra lol (details later or might be another post hehe). After which the 2 of them watched a movie while I when to one of my co-leagues place to drink with the LNP team. I had fun drinking and eating with them, the question and answer is so cool, that made me think "I should hang out with them more often" and I think I would we called it a night around 12midnight. Got home around 1AM texting some of my friends telling them - I've seen Destiny that day hahaha..

Movie Date

Me and my two bodyguards, I mean my brothers went out for a movie date last Saturday. We watched The Social Network and was amazed about the talent of the said Youngest Billionaire to date. Damn! he really knows scripts to build an uber addicting site. Anyway, we decided to take the 5:10PM showing, grab some grocery and eat. We really had a great time, a friend told me that I'm lucky to have this bond my brothers, well I am, but mind you weren't this close before. We fight a lot, scream shout at each other and wrestle. Yes, you heard me right we got to the point where our yaya can no longer stop us harharhar, but that was before. I think as we grow older we realize that we have a lot in common, though I'm the only girl (well technically). We three, love gadgets (we spend much geeez with those, ask our mom), we love shoes (I can asked their opinion when buying girly shoes, don't get me wrong), we love eating (hehe, we can try any thing we want, it came to a point where Jeje - the youngest got his allergies when we ate in a new resto), we love sports (basketball, NFL, billiards, boxing name it), we love photography, we adore our mom (we can't say no to her) and high respect for our dad (we need his approval on anything). We love each others company, we can just sit down, have coffee (or beer) laugh and talk all day (my mom and dad would sometimes butt in with the conversation lol!). I really had a great time last Saturday, I think we need to do that more often, most probably with my mom during movie dates and with my dad during happy hour lol!

Time

Whoohh now I realize that I have a lot of things to learn before I can take excellent photos. I signed up to a forum which I know could give me tips and tricks on how to fully use my cam and whoa I’m learning a lot just by reading each page. I’m really a newbie on this, I love taking pictures, I started with an old school film point and shoot camera without zoom when I was in grade school. When we created our school news letter I was the one in charge to take pictures of the featured story. I usually cheat, instead of taking and going to the location where I need to take the picture I would just browse for video footage of our story and will take the picture of it on my PC screen, lol but no one would notice that the picture wasn’t for real. Then my Aunt gave me a new film cam now with zoom, I can no longer remember the model but it was made by Olympus. Since then I was the official photographer of when we’ll have gatherings or party. I never purchased any point and shoot digital cam, I don’t know why but what I know is that I can’t afford to buy the cam I really wanted so I settled to just use my camera phone and borrow my Uncle’s Cannon and Sony digicam. Then after sometime I got a simple Kodak digicam at work price for my hard work whoohhoo! Then this, but I haven’t used with my camera for more than a week now, the last picture I’ve taken was pictures of our agent on the floor smiling while taking calls. Darn! that was ages ago but I try to bring this on Saturday on my movie date with my brother and try to just simply take photos of him, of use and make fun of our selves, the usual things we do when we need some time to think, relax and unwind. I know he needs me now and I will make time for him. And I know I’m not as good as those photographers out there but I know is that I can learn to take better snap shots of these memories I will treasure.

Excuses

Over coffee a friend blurted out "Siguro naman sanay ka na sa cam mo?!" Instantly I answered "Hindi, tinatamad ako eh!" then I remembered what my best friend told me last week, "Magbasa ka, gamitin mo, walang mangyayari kung tinatamad ka, sayang lang yan."
Darn, what's with me. I've been craving and wanting this stuff for almost 2 years and now that I have it, I didn't even opened it's bag for 3 consecutive days. I'm convincing my self that I'm just too busy and too tired to hold it, open it and try to mess with it. Ito ba ung tipong, gusto ko lang dati kase wala pa ko, tapos ngayon meron na ko eh maiisang tabi ko lang nanaman??? But I'm reading topics and articles about it once in a while. Kahit nasa office ako nagbabasa ako ng tips and tricks about it.. (Sana wag mabasa ng boss ko 'to hihihi!)
Hmmm lemme think.. I just have a lot of things to do now and I can't give time to fully use it to my hearts content but I'm no longer craving for it, unlike before. Not that don't want it, but because I already have it. I could make use of it once I have enough time to enjoy all its worth. And it would be just there sitting on a special corner where I left it. Unlike having someone in your life which needs time, effort, explanation and attention. My excuses are acceptable. I would bet, if I'm talking about of a person here surely he wouldn't give a damn if I'm busy and too tired not to mind him. Lucky me, I'm not referring to a human being here.

Newly aged

I'm too hooked on reading this manual..
Too eager to know and learn things..
Too busy to travel and explore..
But my career and social life is not boring anymore! nyahhaa!
Loving these things which keeps me busy..

Excel

It's my first time to bring my work, home. I just remembered that I sent a file last Friday coz I can't figure out what formula in excel should I use to get the summary for each criteria. And still I can't figure it out! I've asked my brother, check online, am I just to lazy to check all possibility?! Waaahh I need this tomorrow. Marnie Help!

Kodakan

I just created a photoblog. I was inspired coz the full memory warning sign on my PC is blinking every now. When I checked my save files most of the huge files which ate up all the space on my memory where my photos so meaning I need to find a storage room where I can dump all those huge files. So I decided to create my own photoblog though I'm not good in "capturing the moments" or what not but I love pictures and stuff. I have taking my own pictures but I love taking one and keeping them.
For now only 2 photos here: http://schinkayne.blogspot.com/ were posted because I'm still on the process of complying all those pictures. Busibusihan mode again.. :)

Suddenly

Suddenly there was silence, I know this scene only happens every Friday in the office with the absence of those people around us. But lately this scenario is getting more more usual.
My friends would usually caught me thinking or day dreaming or preoccupied maybe but not just silent in one corner, empty-minded. I know something is wrong lately and I needed this to stop. But I don't know when it started or how or why.. I can't ever write or finish my book for heaven sake, my book is sitting on my desk since I don't know and I haven't finish 1/4 of it. What with me?!
I don't even chat with anyone, if someone would talk to me I will answer but wont engage in a long conversation like before. I won't see anyone, well except from the fact that I just want to rest during my off, I just can't force myself to leave.
I just finish talking to someone, exchange of updates, answer and question. And then there was silence again.. Oh darn, whats happening to me..

to be continued.. lol

For..

Sorry friend I'm not in the mood to write, so I'll just share this hehehe..

Letting You Go
By Mariann Estaniel

Your sincere words, your sweet smile,
The way you talk to me makes me blind.
You always come in when my world falls apart.
You held the key to my broken heart.
But that was then, this is now.
I really thought we'd make it somehow.
But I guess things between us are just not meant to be.
I'm not right for you, and you're not the one for me.
The thought of letting you go breaks my heart.
'Cuz in my life, you play an important part.
It's so hard for me to give up on you.
For giving up on love is something I don't do.
But I have to face reality, everything has changed.
It's all over, things are not the same.
You're with someone else now, and I am free.
I'm free to move on and go where I want to be.
It's really time for me to let you go.
So here I am, ready to let you know,
That I'm so thankful to have you even for a while.
I'm stronger now, I'm not going to cry.
Because when you left me, I realized that I was strong.
Those days of you and me are all over.
But it's something I would really remember.
It's one of the precious moments of my past.
Though I knew in my heart that it wouldn't last.
In my heart you'll be kept in a special place.
The memory of you will never be erased.

I don't really agree on that girlfriend.. coz according to you people I'm the masochist/martyr type that's why I would prefer this peom..

Still Here Waiting For You
by Tinydancer46

As I look into your eyes
I can't seem to look away
I get lost into the moment
Each and every day

You thought I didn't like you
You thought that I moved on
But to tell you the total truth...
My feelings aren't gone

I'm still here, still waiting
For us to finally be
I'll stay here for as long as it takes
For you to be with me

I'm still here inside your heart
I'll never give up on you
You'll never find anyone else
Who loves you like I do

I'm still here just waiting
For you to finally realize
I'm still here waiting for you to see me
How I see you through my eyes

Hell for false hopes.. wahahaha.. misha guys..

Death

I saw links to know when I will die then I tried it here's the result
Then I got curious to know how will I die, I searched for it and here's the result

hmmm.. funny? what if its true? In less than 45 years from now I'll be dead by a nuclear holocaust possible by the said year, aight?! or car accident? hmmm... possible..

Earthquake

6.1 - 6.2 magnitude earthquake at 1:29 pm GMT + 8. Tectonic origin and strongest in west of Manila. The earthquake has been felt throughout the Metro. I was home surfing the netting thinking that I'm just to sleepy, when my dad says that the earth is shaking. I instantly do the sign of the cross and thought of my mom and 2 brothers who were out. Hope they'll go home safe later. Specially Jon-jon, its his birthday tomorrow, hope he got to his office and be home later safe.

Extra Challenge

Going back to work after 4 straight days on leave and off. Don't get me wrong I had fun but I feel like I needed more time to relax.. But do I have a choice hehehehe..
Anywho, I'm still looking forward for April coz where going to the beach.. where going to the beach.. extra challenge to lose weight huhuhu.. I really gained a lot of weight since I transferred to Marikina huhuhu.. Good Luck to me..

6 months

Kung hindi pa pinaalala sakin ni Loisa mag anim na buwan ko na pala namimiss ang dati kong pasaway na buhay. I miss my old teammates, my old drinking buddies, my friends for almost 4 years. Kakamiss ang PGR, kaya kahit kung lang pa pahinga ko gow kagad ako kanina 7AM sa G2. Kakamiss ang walgn humpay na inuman after shift. nasulit nito ung leave ko. Yes after 6 months nakapagleave ako. From overnight swimming sa Pampangga to may Lola'a birthday celebration to PGR mini reunion. Kahit wala pa ko masyado pahinga ngayon ok lang, nakapagkulitan naman kame sa Pampangga ng fam ko nung friday night, food trip ng buong angkan namin ng saturday at inuman ng fave ko na team ngyon Sunday. Thanks thanks guys nasulit ang leave ko.. Mwah!
Miss ko na PGR kaya itutuloy natin ang swimming reunion ayusin natin yan kailangang nandun ang mga pasaway na team natin lahat dapat hehehe.
Sa April naman ang puerto natin ha lam nyo na..
Hay I miss the petiks day na wala ko problema sa sked ngayon dami gagawin pero atleast nasulit ang pahinga ko.. Love you people thanks for mayking me smile, laugh and crazy everytime..

Missed you Girl!

Surprise surprise!! Seeing Meimei waiting at the lobby yesterday is really surprising. I haven't heard from her for almost a month. Gosh, I never thought we'll click that much though we haven't gone out. She's one of my best agent and I missed her so much. She broke my diet yesterday but it's worth seeing and talking to her. I never realize we're so near, less than 15 minutes from the nearest Starbucks where we can hang out and chitchat. I'll be seeing you on Thursday girl, the chismisan galore and all.. Misha! Mwah!

Rewind or Fast Forward

I can't describe the feeling on how I would react last night seeing two person who affects my state before. Two different person,two different reaction and two different situation from then 'till now. Funny coz I don't even know how to react now. Anyway, I was left dumbfounded twice after last night. First after we ate dinner, I was looking at the old folk I've know before but his trying to figure out where he'd seen me. Darn it, do I look that hideous and fat for people not to recognize me?! Oh well, we did talk about the things but my cousin has to butt in, to well stop the "moment", hell! thanks cuz! Then he left but did look for me to bid goodbye, leaving me thinking that he change so much but his still that nice guy ever since I've known him. Second was after that goodbye, I was shocked seeing his person coming, its like a slow motion scene but then realizing that I was part of a practical joke when I saw the person behind. But this time I was not given any change to chit chat but could constantly catch someone looking. On one instance I smiled and he smiled back, darn if only he could hear my side comments which made my cousin laugh. Funny how that night end, I asked my relative's, my dad and mom that I'll go ahead and hit the sack coz I'm really sleepy though it's not yet midnight. I asked my brother to bring me home because I'm too sleepy, just to learn that he was also leaving (that early), I mean "they". I don't know if that a coincidence or if I'm hallucinating but I saw him looking at our ride while we leave. Is he eyeing my brother?! Harhar but for cheese sake, his with someone!
Oh well, that was just it. I rarely visit those cousin of mine and I rarely go to that side of my world, Why? Because they don't know whole complete me, most of them knew me as their precious, sweet, dear cousin whose having weight problems as of the moment but can still get back on track in no time, the only daughter of their cool uncle who knew what she wants. Yes, everything about me is positive and good on that end of the road. Sometimes, I like that thought but most of the time it makes me sick coz it's making me realize on how huge their expectation from me is and it sucks. Oh darn life, even their welcome questions, Where is your boyfriend? And when are you getting married? I know I'm not that young anymore but please I don't even have one and marriage is not yet on my vocabulary. And I know I'm bitter because recently someone.. ah never mind.
Anywho back on the real topic, that was just like a gist of something which made me remember that chapter of my past, my insecure highshool days til my exciting college years, Me being the aloof, snobbish, unknown, off-limits cousin of their friend.

Farewell

See you there little angel.. I know I haven't seen you for a long time.. But learning that I could no longer see you smiling when I go there later is breaking me..
I know He now needs you there but all of us here will be missing you..
We'll miss you cuz..

Will You Still Love Me Even If I'm Not Perfect?

*from a friends post which she got from her email from a friend...

Will you still love me even if I’m not perfect? Will you still love me even if I’m not the kind of person you wished I were? Will you still look into my eyes with warmth even if you saw my shadows? Will you still hold my hand even if you knew there will be times I’d let you down?

For though I yearn to take care of you as I should, though I desire to love you with a love that never falters and fades, my knees tremble this very moment that you hold me in your arms.

Shall I kiss you? Shall I hold your hand and bask in the light of your spirit knowing that I have my darkness, knowing there will be times that the light of my love will sometimes be overshadowed by the darkness that is in me?

Sometimes I’d be silent and I might bore you. I may not laugh at your jokes, and you may not understand the spell that’s enshrouding me. Sometimes I’d get troubled and I’d fail to put into words what the hell it is that troubles me. I wouldn’t be good company then, and I couldn’t make you smile.

Sometimes I’d get moody and I might not enjoy the things you’d like us to do together. Sometimes I’d lose my temper and I’d no longer act like the fine person who stands before you today. Sometimes I’d get jealous and I might say things I don’t really mean. Sometimes I’d talk too much that I might drive you away.

Sometimes I’d get touchy and I’d get easily hurt. And no matter how mature I try to be, at times I’d act in childish ways. I’d demand things I shouldn’t, I’d say thing I shouldn’t say. And no matter how much I desire to protect you and make you happy, sometimes I’d be the one who’d cause you the most pain.

If you will love me I cannot promise you that I will not hurt you. I cannot promise you that I will not make you cry and that I’ll never break your heart. But if you will love me, I will bare my whole self naked before you, and I will reveal to you my soul. If you will love me, you can be certain that it is I that you will love, not a mask that fools you and gives you only what your eyes desire to see. If you will love me, you can be certain that you will love the depths of me, all of me that is in me, and I in turn will love you with all of me, with all my soul, with all my mind, with all my spirit, with all my flaws and beauty, and with all my very heart.

Prob?

Sobrang swamp ako with work lately, all I do is, go to work, do OTY then go home. Pagdating sa bahay magtsecheck ng facebook, papasok sa kwarto magbabasa hanggang sa makatulog.
Sa limang araw sa isang linggo ganon lang ng ganon. Ung natitirang dalawang araw? Hehe ung isang araw dyan nasakop na rin ng routine ng panglimang araw ko kaya kung susumahin isa't kalahating araw lang talaga ang kunwariang pahinga ko na hindi nagtatrabaho. Anong ginagawa ko? Hehehe syempre matulog at magpahinga un ay kung hindi ako yayayain ng mga kasamahan ko lumabas para mabuo ang panganim na araw sa isang linggo ko o alilain ng nanay ko para makasama sa mamili ng kung ano ano.
Pero meron ako narealize, marami pala ako napupulot na kung ano ano sa trabaho ko, hindi lang tungkol sa trabaho. Anu un? Isa-isahin natin.
Babala: Ang mga makikita ninyo sa Ingles na lenguwahe ay mga salitang nakakasalumuha ko sa araw araw na ginagawa ni Bro sa buhay opisina ko.

Convey problem. Paraphrase. Fact find. Give all possible option. Suggest the best solution. Delete add refresh. End call/hung up/recoding ended. Sa opisina normal ito, mausisa ang mga tao nakasama ko, lagi nila tinatanong kung ano ang problema ng mga taong nakakausap nila tapos susubukan uriratin ang gumugulo sa mga kausap nila. Tapos tulungan at ayusin kung ano man ang sulirananin. Pero sa tulad ko na bihira na gawin ito at nakakukuha lang magobserba at magcomment, minsan iba na tingin at pakahulugan sakin ng mga iyan.

Conveys problem. Pagkakaroon ng problema, suluranin, posibleng sakit sa ulo, mga dahilan ng hindi pagiging normal, mga hindi inaasahang pangyayari sa normal at maayos mong buhay na nagdudulot ng pighati, kalungkutan, saloobin at kalungkutan. Na minsa'y nauuwi sa pagkakaroon ng masalumuot na pangyayari, karamdaman, damdamin at pananaw sa buhay, un eh kung hindi mo babaliwalain ang isang problema.

Paraphrase. Ito ung tipong pagtangap na meron kang problema. Minsan kase hindi natin iniintindi yan o iniiwasan para lang hindi mapraning, magkaroon ng sakit ng ulo, mahighblood at para walang dagdag isipin dedma ang madalas ginagawa ng karamihan. Pero mali dahil hindi naman maaalis ang isang problema kung hindi mo susolusyunan o haharapin hindi ba?

Fact finds. Alamin ang dahilan. Bakit ka nga ba namumublema sa ngayon? Ano ang mga posibleng dahilan? Anong ang mga pangyayari sa buhay mo na naglandas para magkaroon ng ganitong suliranin? May nagawa ka bang pagkakamali? Bakit ganito ngayon? Yan kinukwestyon mo na sang sarili mo. Normal, lahat ng problema ay may dahilan, may pinanggalingan, kung kinukulit ka man ngayon ng sakit ng ulo na yan, ikaw rin ang may dahilan.

Give all possible option. Isipin ang lahat ng possibleng solusyon. Hindi totoo ang sinasabi ng karamihan ng tao na "No Choice" lahat ng ay binibigyan ng pagpipilian. Marami posibidad na magging solusyon sa problema. Nandyan na ung, dedmahin hanggang sa kabugin ka na lang bigla isang araw kakadedma mo. Paglaban kung ano talaga ang nais mo kahit pa may matatapakan kang tao. Magkapakamartyr at gaga dahil gusto mo maging mabait sa paningin ng iba. Sundin ang tamang sinasabi ng utak mo. Pakingan ang sinasabi ng puso mo dahil gusto mong maging masaya naks! Maghintay. Ugatin ka man, mamuti ang mata, putian ng uwak at kahit kapitan ka man ng mga suso at lumot, parang umoorder ka lang sa fast food, ganon ang drama mo day, "willing to wait" ka parin. Pero sabi nga choice mo yan, yan ang mga pagpipilian at alam ko marami pang enumeration dyan kaso hahaba masyado next time naman.

Suggest the best solution. Yan eto naman ung multiple choice part. Piliin at gawin mo kung ano tingin mong tama para sayo. Hep, naintindihan mo ba? Ang sabi ko kung anong tingin mo tama PARA SAYO. Bakit may emphasis? Kase hindi parepareho ang choice ng bawat isa, ikaw at ikaw lang sa sarili mo ang makakapagsabi kung ano ang tama para sayo. Tried and tested, ganito yan eh, maraming tao ang lagi humihingi ng opinyon ng iba pero at the back fo their mind meron na talaga silang desisyon, kahit gaano pa katama ang suhestiyon ng ibang tao kung iba talaga ang gusto mong mangyari un parin ang susundin mo. Bakit ka humihingi ng opinyon ng iba? Marahil humahanap ka lang ng taong aayon sa gusto mong mangyari at mapatunayang kahit papaano ay tama ka. But again, isipin mo maigi ang mga posibilidad at mga pwedeng manyari para makapagdesisyon ng tama. You might choose something that is not the best option for everybody but it is for you.

Delete add refresh. Eto ung troubleshooting part, solusyon kung baga. Eto ung proseso na ginagawa mo na ang dapat mong gawin para matuldukan o matapos ang dagdag na pasanin kinahaharapan mo. Kung ano naman ang pinili mong solusyon eto na ung parte na un. Minsan sandali lang tapos na, pero kadalasan hindi, nandyan pa ung parteng may pilitan, iyakan, sakitan, sagutan, sigawan, sumbatan at kung ano ano pang -an. Minsan naman nililiteral ng ibang tao ito as in delete add refresh talaga lalo na kung usapang puso ang usapan sows. Delete iitsepwera na kung sino naman ung napapasakit sa kalooban. Add kumanap ng kapalit, sakit nun para sa taong "panakip butas na lamang" . May mga taong nakakakalimot lamang kung meron na kapalit, pero kahit saang angulo tignan hindi parin tama. Refresh tama lang ang katagang ito kung positive ang kinalabasan ng pagkakaroon ng Add, kung hindi naman nagadd, ibig lang sabihin ay nagmomove on ka na .

Eto ang mga resulta sa pagharap sa problema.
End call tapos an ang problema, nasulusyunan na ng tama at ok ka na.
Hung up eto ung negative part ng end call dahil maaring hindi nasulusyonan ang problema mo, paranget ang kinalabasan at nahihirapan ka parin kaya balik ka sa parapharasing para pagnilaynilayan ang mga nangyari.
Recording ended walang ending, nakabitin ang lahat posibleng hindi tinanggap ng kabilang partido ang desisyon mo at hindi siya sumagot, kaya wala parin solusyon.Walang tuldok.

ang dami ko sinabi, pasensiya na at tamad na tamad ako magtrabaho ngayon araw na to kay ito ang ginagawa ko sa opisina. Tagal ko narin hindi nagagawa ito in fairness. Paumainhin ang ang daldal ng mga daliri ko.. Peace yahall!

Material Girl

I haven't got any new gadgets lately, the last time I bought a cellphone (not a replacement) was last year. Darn, I was planning to buy a laptop and camera for a long time now, but I haven't got one wheww.. Anyway, from today I only got 2 months to decide if I'll be buying a new phone or a cam, it's like a "tradition" me and Lois were doing since we started working together.
Touchscreen phones and QWERTY phone are taking over. I've been a Blackberry user before this BlackBerry 7100t

then I got tired of that QWERTY keypad so I shift back to an uber friendly Nokia 6630. Then got my self a Nokia N95 which is serving me for 2 years now and added a Nokia 7210 Supernova as my secondary phone last year. Now its almost time of the year so I have to decide if I'll be getting my self a gift harharhar.. If I'll be getting a new phone I have to sell one of my phone or just give it to my brother.. hmmm.. I'll try to sell it first harharhar.. My phone choices? First is this nice touchscreen phone Samsung 8003 Jet

loving this touchscreen phone with 5megapixel camera or this Blackberry Bold 9000 either black or white

I kinda miss using Blackberry lately specially when my Tito got that model. So slick and the white one is so chic hehehe.
Nokia E71 is another phone I like the red or black one coz Nikki got the this phone in white..

Hmmm.. if I'm not buying a phone probably I'll settle with a new Ipod Nano or Itouch instead hehehe..

I like the black or blue one :)

or this itouch
or if ever I just get my self Nikon D3000 which I've been longing for almost a year now..

wheww.. I really wanted a MacbookPro but don't have money for that yet. I'm not even sure if I can afford that camera either.. Oh well, I'm just planning or thinking of buying.. I just needed to think of things like this as of the moment..
Diversion yeah! :)

Cheesy

I read this conversation from one of the books I’m reading during my off. The first characters line is “Forget me, forget everything about me..” then second character answered “I’m sorry but you can’t get rid of me that easily, you can try to hide from me but I promise to not to leave your side” then the story continues and at the end the first character ate his words and says “Forget about forgetting me I don’t think I can live with that..” awww.. cheesy.. (Disclaimer: I read this line from a book for real, sorry to burst anyone’s bubble :peace: )
I don’t know why but I’m fond of reading this cheesy kind for stories lately arg! I don’t know why. I don’t even have a love life, one of my friends just recently broke up with her partner and most of the trainers and our boss are teasing us to look for a boyfriend and wtf its already March not February “the love month” duh!
Anyway, back to those cheesy lines, forgetting is not an easy thing to do or learn, like the saying one can forgive but won’t ever forget. Amnesia is not an airborne disease. But there is this “Selective Memory” phase that I can recall we discuss in training, helpful but not cure for this forgetting thingy. One can cut all possible means of communication, text, call, messenger, forum, blog site, website, email, letter, telegraph, radio, ect. One can be swamp with work, problems and everything but are you really sure if that stubborn mind with its brain cells friendship would also stop from functioning so they won’t torture you from those pictographic images called memory. In short this is not an easy task. Amnesia is really hard to fake. Lol.
Some people never get tired of waiting, wishing and hoping. I salute you guys. Risk takers, masochist, selfless, martyr call them whatever you want. They are the people who chase, pursue their own happiness. To these people are brave enough to risk their emotion, never minding the pain and hurt that could equate the “what happen” next.
Anywho, life is something you create and decide upon on. We are all given choices and choose what you think is best for you. Some could show the result to everybody while some would just let things happen. For me, I love surprises or either I conceal too much. What about this line? “Forget about forgetting me I don’t think I can live with that..” hhhmmm its just a cheesy line that I don’t think could happen in real life.

Things?

I just got my new pair of sneakers. It’s not the brand that everyone is swooning to have, some of my friends would prefer a different one, different color, they might tell me to get the brand that I used to have but I like this, I actually love it. It’s color white, simple, chic, comfy and actually cheaper. And I think it would serve me long enough, ‘til it gone dirty and worn out.. I thought of wearing it last night but before left I had a change of heart harharhar. So I settled with one of my stiletto instead with a mindset that I’ll be wearing the sneakers the following day hehehe.
Mom saw the paper bag with the shoes when I arrived yesterday. Then I heard “tsk tsk tsk.. sapatos nanaman!”. I just heard myself answering “this is different, I’ve been eyeing this pair for ages, just had a chance to drop by the store so after 100 years I bought it.” Then my mom answered “what the difference? Is still a pair of shoes. How many pairs do you have? Include you slip-ons!?” Instead of answering I just close my bedroom door, end of conversation.
I’m fond of collecting shoes, bags, wallets, glasses, gadgets and shirts, my mom would even complain when ever I keep all of them though most of them are just at the back of my closet. Mom would organize it and we’ll end up arguing because she wanted to give away some of my stuff. I rarely do that, think of it as selfishness but hell I care I won’t give those away easily. These things are mine, I save money for most of them, time to decide whether to buy it or not, energy to find where can I find stocks if the first few store I raided doesn’t have my size anymore, effort of sending emails to my aunt abroad and convincing powers for her to buy me a shocking pieces of these little things hehehe. These are the things I really wanted, I dreamed of and wished for. So I want to keep it as long as I want to.

That’s me I don’t easily give out or give up on something that I treasure.

Today

I was online around 2:40PM, hell dawasclos! Ow well, but this freaking weather is irritating. I was inside the bathroom taking a shower for most of my time to day, darn.
I haven't done anything to today, I'm so darn lazy. I didn't even catch someone today, didn't even leave me any message arg! Asaness urg! Bad romance is my LSS don't know why, but I recently appreciate this song..

The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Then saw this "couple shirts" ang cute.. kaso hindi ata pwede sakin kase wala ko ka pair eh.. asaness.. asar..

aren't they cute??

Unfair

How many times do I have to realize, that I live in a cruel unfair world.
Hindi ako mareklamo pero minsan hindi ko mapigilan ng tabil ng bibig ko. Unfair na kase sobra. Simulan natin nung bata ako.
Hindi ako pwedeng maglaro ng pool kase babae daw ako sabi ng lolo ko pero ang mga kapatid ko pwede. Unfair.
Nung nagaaral ako, hindi daw ako pwede maging honor nun kase nasa section 2 lang ako kahit na mas mataas pa ung grade ko dun sa isa na nasa starsection at isa sa honor hindi daw pwede un. Unfair.
Hindi daw ako pwede magover night sa ibang bahay sabi ng tatay ko kase babae daw ako. Unfair.
Hindi ako pwedeng gumimik nung college kase hinihintay ako lagi ng tatay ko paguwi ko, pero ung dalawang kapatid kahit 3 araw mawawala sa bahay ok lng. Unfair.
Hindi ako tinuturuan magdrive kahit ng tatay ko pero ung kapatid ko ipageenrol pa sa driving school. Unfair.
I'm always mistaken for being a cold snobbish spoiled brat. Unfair.
Hindi ako pwede magtanong kahit na pagkakalaro lang ng bagay, kahit ganon din naman ginagawa nya sakin dati? UNFAIR!

Hmmmm... right..

"I don't know anyone who isn't haunted by something or someone. And whether we try to shove the pain with a knife or shove it at the back of the closet, our efforts usually fails. So the way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page or put an old story finally to rest."

"Never allow yourself to be treated as nothing by another person whom you valued so much. If there's no sense in waiting, then move on. If you feel you're not valued by that person like you do then let go. That's life."

MU

Wag ka masyadong magexpect o magdemand. Wala kayong commitment.
Pwede ka naman magselos, pwede ka magtampo pero hindi ka pwedeng magalit.
Pwede mo siya lambingin, pwede mong yakapin
at pag nalaman mo na may girlfriend siya pwede ka umiyak.
Pwede ka masaktan pero di mo siya pwedeng sumbatan, wala ka karapatan.
At yan ay dahil ang M.U. ay isang Magulong Usapan.

Insensitive

Darn, 6 bottles of Red Horse, kung ano ano na nga pinagtetetetext ko kay Jill.. Hindi mo pa rin magets kung bakit! Yes I won't admit it but I'm waiting for your text or in what ever way you want to contact me. Malas ko lng kase kung kelan ako sumasama sa mga agent ko sa inuman o nagyayaya whatever tska ka pa nagparamdam. Malas ko noh super.. Ilan araw ko na kinukulit ung isa to know kung nag tetext ka manlang tapos ka malas ko wala pa ko sa bahay ng pwede ka..
Then hindi mo magets kung bakit ako ganon magreply sayo?! Nak ng pulang kabayo naman oh.. hindi pa ba obvious un.. wag mo naman ako ipahiya sa sarili ko.. kung pinagtatawanan mo ko sa pinagsasasagot ko sayo hell I care. Kung naguguluhan ka, dude naman obvious naman kung bakit diba?! Kung galit ka, eh peste, bahala ka, magsama kayong dalawa. I drink 6 bottles of Red horse but I'm not drunk, alam ko mga sinasabi mo at sinasagot ko. Kung hindi mo magets kung bakit, bahala ka.. I waited almost 4 days for you to contact me tapos sasabihin mo sakin na marami ka naman pwede kausapin if ever, wow dude sana nagsquare na lang tayo eh noh :rofl:

Fellas

I was aware for more than 24 hours from 7PM Friday night until 4AM Sunday morning but I had fun. From toxic Friday shift in the office (as me and other QCs call it.) I went to Gateway Mall to meet the Fellas, Jah was not there but its ok, meron pa next time diba Ja? Kala ko mawawalan na ko ng boses sa pagvivideoke namin mahigit 3 oras. Taob lahat ng pumapalit sa kabilang cubicle na ka ilang group na ang gumamit sa katabi namin videoke room sa Timezone kame matibay parin. Reminiscing Total Eclipse of the Heart, Halik, Luha, Flames, Kaba, Almost over you, Stupid love, Fame at maraming pangiba ang binanatan namin, naadik na nga kme sa amoy ng iba't ibang flvor ng popcorn diba Nikki hahahah.. Darn kala ko talaga mawawalan ako ng boses ng isang linggo after nun, nagalala tuloy ako sa Quality Talk naks! Sana sa mga makakapanood ng scandal na ipopost ni Lois, sana respetuhin parin ako ng mga ahente ko hahahaha. Pero may part 2 yan mga video na yan kase next time kumplato na tropa hindi na pwede mawala di jaja.. hehehe..
Anyway ayun nga after nun nakatulog ata ng less than 1hour kase nagising ako hindi ko alam kung bakit but what I know is I talk to someone til 4am after that.
PEACE YAH ALL!

For..

carefully I let you go
hurting from being alone
reasons I been keeping so
inside my mind are doubts on
someone I've been waiting for..

Bloopers

Darn, had a good laugh before I left the office and can't get over it. I'll share it to you guys.
I'm working in a callcenter for almost 4 years now. I know there are a lot of bloopers when an agent were taking calls. I'm one of the contributors for some funny conversation with Americans when I was an agent taking calls. Well, I'm very aware of bloopers in the callcenter but I just can't get enough of it specially now that I'm one of those wiretapper, eavesdropper, know-it-all-attention seeker who listens to other peoples recorded conversation, trust me you'll get bored of eavesdropping on someone's conversation but when you luckily spot an awesome blooper darn you'll cry laughing. I'll share those two I remember by heart because I listen to it recently :rofl:.
First is a call from my previous agent (let not name names ok!). Agent got the call and ask for the name. The customers last name is Callaghan, the caller pronounce it as Cal-uh-han. The agent was able to pull up the record and called the customer "Ok Mr. Ka-laghan this.." with Filipino accent then through out the conversation the agent pronounce it as "Mr. Ka-Lag-Han" darn, Janice and I can't stop laughing when we heard it. (I know I'm evil, Sorry).
Second is a call I listened to earlier. The customer called in and stated her inquiry on the call. The agent pulled up the information on the system, it showed that the account is under Patron White but the caller's name is Veronica Carrillo. So as per policy the agent needs to ask for the name on the account, verification. So the conversation goes..
Agent: May I ask for the name on the account please?
Caller: Patron Silver
Agent: And I'm speaking with?
Caller: Veronica Carrillo
Agent: Is the account holder there?
Caller: I'm the account holder, I ask to put Patron White when I got this coz I want that name to appear when coz I don't when other people to see my name. You know Patron White is a liquor..
Agent: Ok, so can I speak to Mr. Parton Silver? (harharhar)
Caller: I'm the account holder, I just ask that name to be use on my account.
Agent: Ok, I understand, so how can I help you Ms. Silver?

Me listening while Laughing out loud, relayed the story to Janice we both rolled on the floor laughing(not literally heller).. darn this is what I love on my job, its exhausting but I could still go home smiling, I mean laughing hahahaha..
PEACE YAH ALL

Magic

Magic by Colbie Caillat

You've got magic inside your finger tips
its leaking out all over my skin
everytime that i get close to you
your makin me weak with the way you
look through those eyes

And all i see is your face
all i need is your touch
wake me up with your lips
come at me from up above
yeaaaa, oh i need you

I remember the way that you move
your dancin easily through my dreams
its hittin me harder and harder with all your smiles
you are crazy gentle in the way you kiss

All i see is your face
all i need is your touch
wake me up with your lips
come at me from up above

Oh baby i need you
to see me, the way i see you
lovely, wide awake in
the middle of my dreams

And all i see is your face
all i need is your touch
wake me up with your lips
come at me from up above

Nothing much.. sound trip mode..

Start

50 minutes jog on my treadmill, 1 glass of tea and a slice of tikoy were my breakfast earlier, before I open my pc and check my facebook harharhar. I've been struggling to lose weight for 2 years now darn, I'm not this fat since I started working in this free meal company. I weigh 105 lbs when I started April of '06 then 2 years later I started gaining weight until now darn darn darn! I was able to maintain it late 2008 but why can't I lose these fats now. :sigh: :depress:..
My grandma, mom and aunt are teasing me that I could no longer go back to my 105lbs self like before huhuhu.. But I wont give up. Treadmill everyday, water, lots and lots of water and avoid the chocoflooded space of Bogs' pedestal lol!

Twist

I never thought about jumping into a cold lake at night, me without knowing how to swim, we'll not literally.
I came across someone today, never thought that I'll ever talk to him again since the time he decided to "forget" about me another way of saying "bye". Hell, that time, I switched my selective memory ON. But a few months later, I realize a lot of things. I can't just simply follow my emotional self, she won't show me the right way. I can't just simply forget what had happened before, coz I just simply can't unless magkamnesia ko. I can't just believe someone until I uncover the truth and talk to the people/person concern. I can't assume on things because I might seeing the opposite side of reality.
I want to ask a lot of things earlier but he got to go. We'll I guess it's not yet time to clear things up, hope that it's not yet time and not at all. I just what to talk about what had happened even though I know where the conversation would lead to hayz.. life.. can't get enough of drama.
I just remembered, he always say that he can't read my mind but does anyone know how to? Coz I would kill to learn, seriously. Lol.
Anyway, I don't know if that's an excuse or what but as I've mention no one I know could read minds. Its up to you if you want to know what the person is thinking and its up to the person if they would tell whats in their head (the top most, lol).
Hayz.. I want to talk to him but I don't know any way to do so or I might not have the same courage to talk to him again.. But why am I having this feeling that I wouldn't have any chance to see, catch or talk to him again..

Tsuyses

Pinipili mo ang lahat ng bagay na nangyayari at ginagawa mo.
Pinili mong bumangaon sa umaga pagpapasok ka sa opisina o humiga muli para matulog pa kaya nagmamadali kang lumayas papasok para lang maipit sa buhol buhol na traffic sa daan.
Pinili mong maglakad kesa sumakay sa tricycle para lang maputikan ang bago mo sapatos, nakatipid ka nga sira naman sapatos mo pagod ka pa.
Pinili mo rin na maginom kasama ang barkada buong magdamag kesa magreview para sa klase mo kinabukasan, badtrip na hangover, wala ka pa masagot sa exam.
Pinili mong magpuyat araw araw kakaayos ng farm mo, kakafight sa mga kamafia mo at kakaluto sa cafeworld mo sa facebook kesa matulog kaya inaantok ka sa trabaho.
Pinili mong manood ng tagalong action movie para malaman mo na sa huli parin dadating ang mga pulis sa isang bakanteng pabrika o bodega para makitang tapos na ang laban at nasagip na ang seksing babae ng bida sa pelikula.
Pinili mong sumakay sa FX para lang makita sa unahan ang ex mo kasama ang syota niyang mukhang bakla. Bubulong bulong ka pa at magtetext sa barkada para ipamalita ang kabiteran mo dahil sa nakikita.
Pinili mong suwayin ang mga magulang mo at maging palaboy na lang sa lansangan.
Pinili mong malulong sa sugal, babae, alak at droga para saan? Para masira ang buhay at kinabukasan mo?
Pinili mong magpakamartir, loser at tanga kahit pwede ka naman bumitiw at magmove on na, 6 year na kayong hiwalay teh tama na ilusyon.
Pinili mong maghintay sa wala, umaasang babalik siya at matatagpo kayong muli.
Pinili mong gawin ang gusto mo kahit alam mong mali ito.

Pinipili natin lahat ng desisyon natin sa buhay, hindi totoong no choice, dahilan lang yan. Marami mga desisyon ang nakasalalay sayo. Maraming magiging sapantaha ang ibang nakakakita sa mga desisyon mo pero nasa iyo kung paano mo ipapakita na hindi ka katulad ng iniiisip nila. Ang mahirap lang eh ang mapatunayan mong tama nga sila at di ka naiiba sa taong inaasahan nila.

Behind

A prisoner of anger and hatred
Misunderstood by people he met
Alone in life and never been wanted
Bitterness of life he won’t forget

The pain of being left behind
In this cruel world, full of lies
Has been suffering for being blind
From the truth, all through this life

A cry of someone about to die
No drop of tear fall from her eyes
It's only seen on her weary smile
A wounded soul in agony hides

-written Jan 27, 2010

Choices

Choices… consists of the mental process of thinking involved with the process of judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one of them for action. Care in selecting, judgment or skill in distinguishing what is to be preferred and in giving a preference. Oh what the heck it’s simply deciding whether to get up in the morning or go back to sleep, or selecting a given route for a journey.
Something struck me, after the words “It’s about choices” came out of my mouth earlier in the office. It made me think of things, a lot of things. It started about this conversation with my officemates. There are decisions I make that made me who I am now, I wouldn’t lie, I regret some of which. But what can I do, I can no longer turn back time to change what had happened.
On the other hand, why are there people who don’t know how to use that little organ inside that hard cage at the upper most of their body? It’s frustrating to learn that a lot of words said are wasted, are just promises coming from a desperate stranger who wanted attention. Yes, I’m guilty on judging a person that she/he can’t do it, she’ll/he’ll just make it harder for us, she/he will be pain in the ass for all of us.
She/he said she’ll/he’ll prove us wrong, that this is what she/he really wants. But I’m sorry on what you’re showing us now. You’re just proving that I’m right. It’s a matter of choice my dear, in this world you’re in now, options are just inserts, decisions are vital and choosing are crucial.

Goin' Back

Darn I don't have a life. Since I started to work in Marikina super busy na ko. Pero super lumolobo rin ako ngayon. Sabi nila stress daw nakakapayat, hindi naman ah. Tsk tsk tsk. Hay, wala na ko ibang buhay kundi itong trabaho kong wiretapping, kung dating 9hours lang ako lagi sa opisina at nakatutok sa AVAYA(telephono sa callcenter) ng 5:59AM araw araw para makauwi agad sa bahay noon, ngayon kahit gustuhin ko gawin un hindi ko magawa, ang dami ko kailangan tapusin. Bakit ko nga ba inusto ko ang trabaho ko ngayon na masmalaki pa ata sweldo ko nung ahente pa lang ako kesa sa dinami dami ng report na ginagawa ko ngayon nabawasan pa sinasahod ko, 'nak ng tokwa anu ba kase pumasok sa kukute ko.
Apat na buwan na ko dito sa ginagawa ko, 40 kilo na rin ata nadadagdag sa bigat ko, bwisit akala ko pa naman papayat ako. Kung ano ano na rin mga sakit naramdaman ko, epekto ng paglipat ko ng opisina. Dati Medium lang size ng shirt ko bakit ngayon masikip na ang Large, hindi naman na ko nagkakakain sa opisina, kulang pa ko sa tulog bakit ganon. Sa stress naman ay marami ako ngayon pwede ko na nga pagkakitaan kase hindi ako nauubusan ng supply araw araw.
Sa opisina hindi ko masyado naiinda frustration ko sa pagpapayat, pano ba naman sa "cube" namin ako ata pinakamaliit hahaha.. pwera kay Joax na sobrang payat hindi na ako nainsecure dun. Pero pagdating sa bahay, nak ng tokwa pagbukas pa lang ng TV lahat ng payat nakikita ko dagdagan pag nachecheck ko ung mga picture ko dati susme bakit ganon Bro ibalik mo lang ung dati ok na ko eh.. wala na ko hihilingin pa.
Then the other day may naalala ko, napaisip at biglang nanlumo. Bakit nga ba parang left out ako ngayon, wala na ko alam sa nangyayari. Pagtinanong ako about sa mga kaibigan ko kahit bagsak ako pero pag tinanong mo ko sa latest standing ng NCO Site Marikina versus other vendor regarding CRI, sows sisiw yan gawan pa kita ng power point presentation na may excel summary pa. Lol. May nagtext din pero blanko, unknown number pero parang pamilyar, kaso hindi ko na confirm walang may alam ng number na un kaya sige idedma na lang. Pero parang pinaalala nito ung mundong dinededma ko. Bakit nga ko ba isinantabi un, ang sinasabi at lagi ko dahilan eh "BUSY AKO", well in a way totoo un, pero kung iisipin dati nama busy rin ako pero hindi ko naman sinubukan kalimutan un, bakit nga ba?
I felt left out, hindi kaya ako lang nagaaisolate sa sarili ko? What I don't know won't hurt me, if I didn't asked i won't know and won't get hurt. If I'm not interested, I should have not cared or asked anything about the person, para hindi na ko nanghinayang o nagiisip man lang ngayon, hayz life.
Apat na buwan pa lang ako pero ang dami dami ko na ginagawa, madami na ko nakakalimutan, naiisang tabi at pinaghihinayangan. Hay if only every sentence I experience ends with period I wouldn't have this what if maybe thoughts running in my head.

Update lol

Gosh ang tagal ko na pala hindi napagkaabalahan ang blog ko.. September pa ung last ko post..
Dami na bago hindi ko pa na update.. pero wala ko maisip na isulat..
Medyo busy kase sa kakapakinig sa usapan ng ibang tao kaya ganon hehe..
pero ill post na lang mga ilan ko nasulat instead.. saka na ko magkukwento ng bonggang bongga.. lol..
Kaya balik muna tayo sa Haiku, nagawa ko habang nagtetraining kame, juice ko last year pa ito hehehe.. sa sobarang kabagutan yan na lang pinagkaabalahan ko. Pagpasensiyahan ninyo na ulit at pagtiyagaan ninyo na lang..

Haiku Part III

Let go of the past
For today don't worry much
Surely it'll be a blast

***
You hold too much grudge
Thinking that they judge you much
How long will it last?

***
The pain in goodbyes
Each person will try to hide
Though broken inside

Eto naman first poems na nasulat ko for 2010.
January 04, 2010 to be specific.

Haiku Part IV

For the longest time
I have longed for your presence
Life from your absence

***
I thought I lost you
And never have realized
How much I've missed you

***
Locked in this darkness
Searching the light for ages
The key, happiness

***
To begin an end
Will have to take one's courage
Face what lies ahead