Death

Its funny to learn that some people think, I'm already 6 feet under. Darn, that's the least possible situation I wanna think of, worst thing that could happen to me. We just celebrated New Years a couple of weeks ago, don't want to die young. No, not today, not tomorrow, not now. I never imagined my self lying on a cushioned, rectangular sealed box, with a square glass mirror on top. Is this the thing they call coffin?

Never in my entire life did I come across this thought. Death, death of whoever, relatives, family member, friends, co-leagues, someone special and especially me. I hate going to wakes and funerals. I'm just not comfortable with its sullen aura. I hate seeing people who wanted to end their precious lives just because they cant handle the situation they are in. Dying won't be the answer.

If ever, would I go to heaven? or would Satan welcome me in hell? Waaahh this is so weird.. erase erase erase.. Can't believe I'm saying or even thinking about this.

But I know that anytime.. anywhere.. we don't know when He will be needing us to accompany Him there.. I know I'm not ready yet, there are things I wanted to settle, things I wanted to accomplish and things I wanted to finish. Yes, everything's hanging for me now. I know what to do about it, but I don't have the strength and courage to face it yet. Yes, I'm a coward. Too scared to get hurt, to be wounded again. Too scared to accept the truth, to face reality. Too scared of me dying because of this pain and even face the real death itself. I'm getting tired of all this agony wrestling inside me, dreamland won't help, everything inside seems to be broken beyond repair, i can feel the presence of death lingering inside me, the reality I'm trying to avoid. Darn, no one, not even I, witnessed my death yet I can feel my presence in hell.