Thoughts - Libra

Another FB application..

Very pretty, Very romantic, Nice to everyone they meet, Their Love is one of a kind, Silly, Fun, Sweet, Have their own unique sexiness, Most caring person you will ever meet! AMAZING IN BED! Spontanious, Neat, Addicted and loyal to their friends, Not the kind of person you wanna fuck with :) You might end up crying; The most irresistible, Strong, Powerful, EXTREMELY PASSIONATE!?????????????Rare to find, A great kisser, Incredibly intelligent, Most Libras are deep-thinkers, Outgoing, Lovable, Corky, Crazy, A fun-lover, Funny, Talkative, Erotic, Smart, LOVES sports, Gets what he/she wants, Loves to be in a relationship BUT, is completely happy and free if single..

Very romantic,(well I am..) Nice to everyone they meet(hindi sa lahat noh..), Their Love is one of a kind(ow well.. hmmm), Silly(pretty much, sometimes), Fun, Sweet, Have their own unique sexiness(well, well, well.), Most caring person you will ever meet!(trueness hahaha) AMAZING IN BED!(no comment) Spontanious, Neat, Addicted and loyal to their friends(very), Not the kind of person you wanna fuck with :)(try ninyo, now na para naman maiba ung trip ko, madali naman ako kauspa eh.. pero pagpumalag ako sisiguraduhin ko mananalo ako hahaha) You might end up crying(un na!); The most irresistible, Strong, Powerful, EXTREMELY PASSIONATE!?????????????(need to say more?)Rare to find, A great kisser, Incredibly intelligent, Most Libras are deep-thinkers, Outgoing, Lovable, Corky, Crazy, A fun-lover, Funny, Talkative, Erotic, Smart, LOVES sports, Gets what he/she wants, Loves to be in a relationship BUT, is completely happy and free if single ..(happy and single)

karamihan dyan totoo noh.. hahahah

Haiku

I've written a couple of Haikus, I ask PadrePio(symb) to check it because I'm new to this format I want someone who I know is familiar with such, before posting it. I never thought it would be an issue for some. I tried explaining my side, I never intended to offend other people.
I was just up to the challenge and learning those kinds of format really inspired me alot.
Oh well, moving forward. I never thought Padre would like my haikus. Subok lang kase un, I need thought of impressing him, I just wanted him to check it and tell me kung nakuha ko ng tama ung idea ng haiku. Hindi kase ko ganon ka familiar dun. But he did liked it and ask me to post it na and I did. Thanks for the challenge and help Padre. And certainly I'll keep on writing..

So heres 3 of them.. I've written about 5 haikus I think.

A stormy cold night
Flameless candle as my light
In this room I hide

***

Today I woke up
With a desire to be loved
By this selfish life

***

Dark clouds in the sky
Sign of rain, pouring anytime
Washing trace of lies

-written June 17, 2009

How

How dark is black
If one can't see
Through a child's eyes
So blissful with glee

How warm is a hug
For a lonely orphan
Longing to be loved
And cherished by someone

How loud is the silence
In this crowded room
If no one listens
In any of the tune

How painful is the wound
With no bloodstains
Instead, traces of tears
From the eye remains

How someone can be so cruel
Not to understand at all
How can selfishness rule
Inside somebody's soul

-written June 05, 2009

Thoughts - Me?!

God I got this from FB again.. its so true.. it so me.. mygolly..

What does your birthday say about you?

Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

This is so me.. Every single one, this is so me.. "calm and cool" - well I am, "concerned and detailed" - details? ask me haha, "loves to look for information"-chismosa in short haha, "understanding" - thats the thing, minsan feeling ko ako lang ang umiintindi but people don't understand me :(, "secretive" :whistle:, "hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings" - true I won't show how I feel or even tell what I'm thinking, I hold back most of the time.

Thougths - A Match

Again because I'm so addicted to FB lately..
Daming application ang nakakaaliw.. kaloka eto pa isa..
The perfect match test

Result

Libra: Compatible with: Leo, Gemini, Sagittarius, Aquarius

Incompatible with: Scorpio, Capricorn, Pisces, Taurus, Cancer, Virgo

Variable: Libra, Aries

Funny, ang madalas naiinvolve sakin eh Pisces, Scorpio at Virgo. Malang kaya hindi nagwowork or war of the worlds and tema.. totoo nga kaya ito? But I know I possess Librans description, qualities, attitude ect.

Thoughts - Envy

I'm hooked in facebooks applications.. makes me smile in a bad day.. I've answered this "What do people envy about you?" and heres what it says..

You're a giving soul, and you'd do almost anything for those you love. They'd also do anything for you! People may envy how giving you are, but more than anything, they envy those you open your heart to.

Funny, a GIVING SOUL, OPEN HEART, darn I know I'm so evil harharhar.. oh well..
I;ve thought about Envy.. recently somebody tried making me look bad to people who I hardly know, I don;t know his/her real reason for it but I won't deny it it makes me furious at first but after a couple of minutes of reading about what he/she wrote about me, it just makes me laugh. It's one hell of a person doesn't really know anything about me. He/She might observed how I deal with people online but hoiw can he/she be sure about who I really am. Easy I can pretend, I can act, I can say portaite who ever I want to be online. So who cares as long as I have my dearst friends who believe in me, who's their when even ever, hell I care abut what other people think.
But of course I have my limitations, I'll give that person one more chance, one more and certainly I'll snap so good luck. I can play anybody's game and I'll make sure I'll win.

Thoughts - Interesting

I'm into facebook lately and manage to check out fun applications there. I tried this "What "Periodic Element" are you? Which will tell your personality base on the questions and give you the Element equivalent. The result..

You are strong in character, emotions, ethics and physically. People who know you believe you are reliable and steady. You say what you mean and you will follow through with it because you weighed the positives and negatives of the commitment before you even said yes. Life may though difficulties your way but you are able to cope with them because of your strength..

hmmm.. interesting coz its true.. I say what I mean and will follow through, strong character and firm. A friend's description who I spoke with earlier is exactly as that.
Nice..

Wanderer II

Dahil marami naapektohan dito Wanderer minabuti kong sundan ang kalokohang ito.. Again, hindi po ako obit. Para iyan sa isang kaibigan, isinulat ko lang ung nakita ko sa sitwasyon niya, tama po na isang tao lang ang tinutukoy ko. Di ko sinasadya na maapektohan ang iba at makarelate sila hehehe.. kaya para sa inyo, dinugtungan ko.. [ang kulit ko rin eh noh hahaha]

Wanderer II

A dream he thought he already got
Had vanished in just a single snap
Memories that he carefully trapped
Seems vague and slowly being unwrapped

The moment his princess walked away
Saying, things are changing day by day
Nothings seems to matter as of today
Now he's breaking more than yesterday

Her sweet voice he constantly remembers
Now in his ears, is like a roaring thunder
Hearing those painful words she uttered
Makes him bleed and wounded deeper

A part of his life had gone meandering
He cannot dwell on sadness and hurting
One could only help himself to keep on hoping
Happiness is a choice that is worth keeping

The future ahead of him looked so blurry
And that's the beauty of life, one shouldn't worry
Coz he knows, it just ended in a tragic story
But now is the beginning of his new journey

-written June 05, 2009

Thoughts - My life

I just can't find time to write. I have this pending part 2 poem that I can't seems to finish. I know I'm busy for a couple of weeks now but when ever I'm thinking about my schedule.. hmmm.. how do I manage to keep on writing before even though I got load of things to do as well.. Is it my task or I just can't find any inspiration or its just me.. I usually write about my self so why am I "somekindaloosing" time for it.

Heres the list of my window and tabs on my computer desktop at work.. (links) and I manage to check each and evertime, well I have to..
1. CAP
2. VKB Hardware
3. VKB 360
4. 4 word documents (service, logs, templates, troubleshooting)
5. msn mail (I send emails a lot, every second whew!)
6. Loisse's outlook
7. 3 Excel files (schedule, ACD, tracker)
8. An ebook (depende what book I wanted to read if I could)
9. Google hehehe
10. Symbianize (if i have time :lol:)
11. notepad (I use for writing my kalokohan)
[ill attach a screen shoot tom. ill printout my office desktop so ull see the idea]
Whew! thats the reason why my office pc hangs a lot.. hahahaha.. but those are what I do while informt of my pc at work.. while I hold tons of papers if my jogging around ELJ's 6th floor to do printing, photo copying, signing papers, talking to RTA, talking to loisse, to coy, to ceejay or to somebody else hahaha.. busy huh..

At home.
1.Yahoo msg
2. Symbianize
3. msn mail (I have to keep track)
4. Facebook
5. Reastaurant city (FB)
6. Farm toen (FB)
7. Blogger
8. Deviantart
9. mybrute
10. mediafire
11. photobucket
12. google
13. mydocs

Whew! I multitask? Certainly, a talent I learned from working ina callcenter and having home and office pcs as my buddies hehehe..
oh well I guess I just have to manage my time for me to hae time in writing..
hhmmm...

My life

In a dark hole I dive
Not knowing what's inside
This time I wont elide
In my mind I must survive

I know I must be strong
Even if, things goes wrong
Now, here is where I belong
Something I'm willing to hold on

A very unpredictable cycle
This enigmatic life I handle
Simple, bald but unusual
My so-called life I fondle

-written June 04, 2009

Ménage

With a pair of bloodshot eyes
From a dark alley I hide
Trying to read each mind
As I survey people, who pass by

Then a group catches my attention
With their presence and certain action
I caught myself attentively listening
To their laughters, as if hiding something

Then suddenly I found myself in the circle
Sitting and hearing each soul's whisper
Each face masked a unique individual
In their eyes reflects a precious jewel

An unparalleled character each holds
Makes me wonder and anxious to unfold
For me to search and discover their name
How each person differs as they play a game

Each day with a prize of trust we earned
Respect to each other we have yearned
Seeing those smiles as we all gather around
Of which I vow to protect every single one

A surprise I soon recognize and uncover
I'll carry a bond of each in my heart forever
They fill the hollow part of my daily routine
Something we shared that nobody had ever seen

-written April 22, 2009

Haven't written for quite sometime, don't know busy I guess..
wala sa mood. So I checked my files, I remember this poem. Papa ask me to write a peom for him. At usually pag ang inask sakin I try to portrait that I'm the person who's asking me to write something for him/her. Kaya madalas kung hindi ko masyado kakilala ung nagask sakin may interview portion muna. I guess I read his innner thoughts through that poem.
Yan ung nagawa ko hindi ko lang alam bakit hindi pa ginagamit ni papa..hahaha..

Thoughts - Iloveyou Kris Allen!

Darn darn darn! Kris Allen won.. his American Idol 2009.. Aylaabbeeettt...
shoot nainlove ako sa lalaking 'to grabe.. lalo na nung kinanta nay ung Heartlesss at Ain't No Sunshine.. mygulay ilovehim na...

CONGRATULATIONS

Kris Allen

Kris Allen's smooth vocals and boy-next-door image propelled him to "American
Idol" victory Wednesday, turning the theatrical powerhouse Adam Lambert into the
most unlikely of also-rans. "I'm sorry, I don't even know what to feel right now.
This is crazy," said a stunned Allen, 23, of Conway, Ark. As host Ryan Seacrest
said in announcing the result of the viewer vote, "The underdog, the dark horse,
comes back and wins the nation over."

Hindi na ko umaasa dahil alam ko na si Adam Lambert ung mananalo, i have nothing against Adam magaling siya pero simula ng natangal si Danny Gookey si Kris na bet ko tapos kinanta nya pa ung heartless dusko panalo super..

Pero in fairness madaming magagaling sa batch na ito ng American Idol lalalo na nung top 5 na lang.. wala ka itatapon magagaling sila.. ang they gave agreat show kanina shet winner.. agree ako sa mom ni Kris mageenjoy ka sa show kanina ang gagaling.. tapos meron pa bago single ung Black Eyed Peas, YEAH!
Basta naaliw ako un lang kaya na paOnline ako ng si oras.. at hindi na ung scandal ni katrina halili ug iniisip ko wahahahaha...

Wanderer

A restless flight
Of this lonely knight
Hoping he would find
The happiness of his life

Every night he wonders
If its time to surrender
All those memories he gathered
Until this moment he utters

Like a dream that came true
The day he met her, he knew
She's his princess, he longed for
Until his life is through

Then she left him for someone
Telling him, he have done none
But the feelings are all gone
Coz she thinks he's not the one

Then he utters "We're better off this way,
You, letting me go and setting me free
Now, I have to go and walk away,
Even though it's breaking me."

-written April 12, 2009
madami nagrereact na friends ko na lalaki dito sa sinulat ko.. hmmm..
affected? wala na naman ako pinatatamaan dito, when I wrote this binase ko lang siya kay mikeyl.. his the one who ask me to write him a pome about him self..

Chance

I had my heart wounded deeply
But now I'm coping slowly
I'm starting a new journey
To try and write my own story

It's another ordinary day for me
After a period of solitude, now I'm free
Walking in this hallway briskly
Looking forward to everyday with glee

But out of nowhere you came
Then, it's no longer the same
Your smile rattled my game
And turned my world insane

This anxiety inside my core
In search for the one I adore
Vision of you that I can't ignore
It's your presence I longed for

I just wanted to get to know you
Look at you until the day is through
I'm hoping you'll notice all the clue
That, my pure intentions are true

-written May 09, 2009
by request ni mikeyl para daw sa kras niya, hmm hindi niya masyado gusto so I think I need to revise it. pero wala pa ko sa mood mag sulat, pasensiya..
but I love my poem kaya post ko muna dito.. thanks sa mga nakaappreciate..

Again, the anguished masked

I got 4 poems na nasa chinkzode ko pero wala dito sa blog ko.. hmmm...
Sige update natin.. lagay ko ung 3..
Confession - these are all about me and no one else. It's some kinda "time table" of what happened, I guess.. harhar!

Anguish

A sleepless night,
For a restless soul.
With gloomy lights,
In this dark hall.

Staring blankly,
With a cluttered mind.
Her eyes were lonely,
Of memories unkind.

Bloody tears flow,
From an empty stare.
Now left in the shadow,
Broken beyond repair.

All these sorrow,
Shattered her core.
Hoping that morrow,
Would ease the sore

-written March 25, 2009

Masked

Silently she dwell
Here in a dark cell
A place like hell
She blend so well

Never did she tried
To unlock her mind
Share what's behind
That intuition she hide

Once, she had risked
To an emotional frisk
Then suddenly she fell in
But lose the game of flirting

No trace of teary eyes
Nor forced weak smile
Though she's breaking inside
Beneath a poker face she hides

-written April 23, 2009

Again

I held an emotion for so long
Tried disregarding it, as I move along
Somewhere I thought, I belong
No one notice it, as time goes on

All lot of which were true
Eventhough it makes me blue
I kept everything inside hidden
Coz I know, I have to end it then

So I drop the feeling
Long before I came back
But with no warning
Now my armor's starting to crack

Again I'm here inside where
I don't wanna be trapped
A familiar sullen place
I'm trying to adopted

What do you held
That makes me vincible
Again I'm wrecked
For me, being so gullible

This is so disturbing
I can't believe I'm slowly breaking
But I have to end this anxiety
And again, stop this tearing agony

-written April 25, 2009

So bahala na kayo magassume kung ano, sino, kelan, saan at paano ha..
but I'll assure you I'm ok..

Thoughts - Privacy

Darn it..
After 20 long years this the only time I had my own room.. my own meaning I'm no longer sharing with my aunt or my brother.. P-R-I-V-A-C-Y at last. Purchased my own bed, my sheets, my dresser, my hamper ect ect.
We're 5 in the family my mom and dad, me and my two brothers, luckily when we move here we 3 got to have a out own separate room. Hear that S-E-P-A-R-A-T-E.
Of course we respect each space, one should knock before opening the door, even my mom and dad does that, unless my moms trying to wake my up coz I'll be going to work. At first I usually lock my door, I dont know, I got used to it. But mom got problems in keeping her spare keys so she ask me if I could just leave the door or my room unlock when ever I dose of sleep, so if ever she have to wake me up it would be easier, if a knock wont be enough, so I did. Only my mom who's allowed to do such, so coz even my dad won't just walk in if ever he needs something from me or if ever mom's not around and he needs to shake me off to wake up.
But just then my youngest brother started entering my room with out me knowing, I didn't mind it at first because mom told me that he needs to call someone and the phone outside is busted (I got an extenstion in my room, no where else), so I let it pass. But darn it, that one time became twice, trice and now very often and most of the time that happened without me knowing, its either I'm outside doing chores or when I'm sleeping. Just because he needs to borrow my phone to text someone, darn he has to go around my room before he could get my phone on top of my bedside table. And damn my phone, can you imagine, I don't certainly have any videos to keep privately but still, darn it that thing is still private.
Motherfathersheetofpaper(memoy thanx for this expression), I know its my brother but still, my dresser doesn't have any lock, my closet got one but the tiniest I have, my everyday bag's lying on the floor, most of the time zipper open. My things are everywhere in the room but I know where to look for certain things if ever, I dont what someone messing up with it, with those. There are some stuff I keep that nobody's allowed to see, look at or read, even my mom. I don't want someone getting things from me without permission, coz still those are mine. I just feel like I was invaded and I HATE IT!
My room is my comfort zone, here I could show what I really feel. Most of the time, usually when I'm not really feeling ok, I would wear a mask infront of my parents, I don't want them to see the soft side of me, I don't want to worry. Inside my room I could take that off and hug the emotion I'm keeping inside. That's another reason, my room keep my secrets and if somebody unwelcome come in, I feel like they are trying to gey something from me, something precious, something I keep.
Darn, this is enough, nobody could ever come into my room ever again, unless I'm aware off, unless I let that person in. I'll locking my doors everytime. I'll ask my mom to keep the spare key where she could easy remember she left it. I'll have my privacy back, I'll have my comfort zone again, to what its used to.

some parts of my room, maayos pa cya dyan.. ngayon super gulo na..
ung mga picture sa baba ung closet ko ung sa taas ung dresser..

kung makikita nyo ung dresser ko ngayon eh mas marami na dyan ang laman..

pati ung upuan puno na ng libro hahaha.. maayos pa yan.. kase wala kalat na bag, flipflops, book at shoes sa sahig hahaha..

Runaway

Sitting on the sand by the shore
As I watch the sunset go
A magnificent sight to see
For a lonesome someone like me

Reading a book in a corner
In a cozy part of this busy diner
Here no one notice my presence
I can be me with no pretence

I had no idea where my heels are headed
Ranging this road I'm completely engaged
With an awesome beat from the car stereo
As the night goes by in this crazy metro

Staring at the dark sky above
Looking at those stars I loved
I wish I could go where they are
Leave and run away, that far

They’re comfort zone where I want to be now
A hiding place even just for a while
But reality brought me back to my senses
I'm here in my room, alone and homeless

-written May 03, 2009

Thoughts - Now

This is me, now.

Panalo ang araw ko ngayon, walang ako tulog nakainom at mamaya iinom nanaman kami ng mga officemates ko.

Kahapon pa ko hindi ok, ayan para sa mga friends ko na super concern sakin, yan inamin ko na, sa mga watch mode sa blog ko at humanap ng butas para sa ikasasaya ninyo, I'm f*cking breaking right now, para sa taong, again pinagkatiwalaan ko pero hindi naniwala sakin hehe damn, you really know how to break me seriously. Salamat

It's confession time..

(guys don't worry walang makakasilip ng butas dito this is all about me.. I need to write it.. and get lost for a while..)

I know what I've done this past few weeks, ung mga bagay na pinagkakaabalahan ko, ung mga "surprises" ko. I know my goal and focus why I'm doing that but I never did expect I'm this weak. Ngayon, hindi ko na alam kung bakit ko ginawa un, kung dahil sa evil plan ko or I just wanna let people know how I rule someone (Darn, I'm so selfish).

I manage to keep mum about what's, happening eventhough I'm aware about it, halos hindi ko nagagawa ung part ko, thinking na baka mapahamak ako or baka maputol ung ginagawa ko. Worst is I'm enjoying it, while loosing the idea of the real deal to what i'm doing.

Now, I wanna apologize to all of you, to those people whom I call my family. Sarili ko lang inisip ko this past few weeks, hindi ko man lang kayo nakaya ipagtanggol, for the stupid reason na ayoko makialam, damn, dapat nakialam ako dahil ako ang puno't dulo ng lahat ng ito. Sorry na inisip ko lang ang sarili ko, in holding back because ayoko madamay. At first I know my purpose for doing so, but as it goes nawawala un, sorry talaga.

I'm playing this goody goody girl not taking sides pero feeling ko hindi ko nagagawa ung dapat na ginagawa ko for all of you, para dun sa mga taong nasa tabi ko eversince, sorry for being so weak and for being so selfish, alam ko kasalanan ko lahat.

What happen? Honestly nahirapan ako aminin, kahit hanggang ngayon indenial parin ako, pero nangyari ang kinakatakot ko, bumalik ung dati, the stupid affected me, ung sinulat ko na again, totoo un. For all those so-called lies na naririnig ko from him, may part ako na naniniwala sa kanya, I know fault ko ito, sakin nagsimula at hanggang ngayon parte ako. Ang dali ko kase maniwala, ang dali ko magtiwala ulit kahit marami na nangyari dati. Kahit pa kung ano ano na ung alam ko, ang tanga tanga ko. Sorry talaga, sobra ako kaapektado nung time na nalaman ko ung result. You dont deserve those, kung meron man dapat nagkaroon nun, ako lang dapat, ako ang root nito aminin man natin o hindi.

Sayo kung babasahin mo pa ito o hindi kiber..

sayo ang galing mo , you know me to well, it seems so easy for you to make me feel miserable. Tutal you wont let me explain myself and you wont understand we're I'm coming from, dito ko lilinawin sarili ko para gumaan ang pakiramdam ko kahit konti, sa space ko na walang pwede makikialam, walang sino man ang pwede magdelete at dumedma. Una, sa lahat ng accusations mo, walang kahit isang tama, maniwala ka o hindi, wala akong ipipilit. Nung sinabi ko wala kame ng taong un, wala kame talaga, wag mo ipagduldulan sakin ang hindi totoo.

May gusto kong ipaisip sayo, nailugar mo na ba ang sarili mo sa lugar ko? Kahit isang beses? Your accusing me of so many things, but whenever I'm clarifying my side, myself you wont believe me. Kung gagawin ko sayo iyon ano mararamdaman mo? Someone you know, already accuse me of such thing, ikaw rin pala. Salamat ha.

Alam mo problema mo? Sinusubukan mo magbago hindi para sa sarili mo, kundi para sa iba, well, thats flattering honestly but you know, whats bad about it? Once may maling nagawa ung dahilan mo sa pagbabago, magkakaroon ka narin ng reason para bumalik sa dati at tigilan ang nasimulan mo na, tama ba? Ginagawa mo ung mga bagay na ayaw mo gawin sayo, pero you're too close minded to understand and even hear the other person. Ang bilis mo pa magconclude salamat, maraming salamat.

Ako, na dapat gumagawa sayo niyan, dahil sa lahat ng kasalanan mo sakin, ako pa ngayon ang nasa negative note, ang galing mo talaga. Sinubukan mo ba ko intidihin, everytime na sinasabi mo na ako ang may sala?

Sasagutin ko ung tanong mo, HINDI sakin galing ang mga un, nacheck mo na ba ung sarili mong mga post? Nareview mo na ba lahat? Kahit ung mga deleted? Going back from the beginning? If you can bring back the past, so do I, so do other people, who's aware, hindi mo rin ba naisip that people could dig the past and bring it back? Naisip mo ba un? Naisip mo ba na ikaw mismo ang nagfeed sa kanila ang mga linyang un?
Stop accusing people sa mga bagay na ikaw mismo ang may gawa. Stop asking for something na hindi mo rin naman papakinggan. Don't act na ikaw lang ung nasaktan, put*ngin* kung ikaw ung taong hindi papaniwalaan sa mga bagay na sinasabi mo, ano mararamdaman mo? Masyado ka na kafocus sa bagay na inaapi ka, ni hindi mo nakita kung ano nagyayari at sinasakripisyo ng ibang tao para sayo. Ang nakikita mo lang ung mali.

Tinago ko lahat ng yan sa sarili ko, tingin mo ba kung alam ng lahat ang nayayari eh meron parin ako kakampi ngayon? Nakakatawa noh.. Balik nanaman ako sa dati, back to zero ko dude.

Nakakapagod ba? Mas nakakapagod ang magpakatanga at hindi paniwalaan after mo magtiwala at maniwala ulit.

Sa mga taong nandyan lagi sa tabi ko, sana maintindihan ninyo ko, kung magagalit kayo sakin maiintindihan ko rin naman, alam ko ang mali ko, alam ko ako ang may kasalanan kaya maiintidihan ko un. Sorry ulit sa inyo.

Sayo, tama ka, Good Luck. I tried hanggang sa huli, pero wala rin nangyari, at aaminin ko nagpakatanga nanaman ako, anu pa bang bago.

Thoughts - F.Y.C.

I have to commend myself for being so in control, but I can't, I don't know, but I'm starting to doubt myself .
But two things I'm sure of, I'm the one to blame for all these and I know I have to do something about it, soon..

Thoughts - Again

Got a new phone my gulay, for another network. Why did I purchased one? Parang panata na namin ni louisse ang bumili ng new phone every year. Got my N95 still as my primary phone and a 7210 supernova for secondary phone, funny thing is nobody at home is aware what I got hahaha.
It's 11:21pm dated April 22, 2008, my grandparents plane has already landed. I'm torn I want to go home but hesitant as well. I wanted to go hime early to talk to my lolo God, got alot of things to ask him about the details on some investment, dreaded papaerworks again that I want to get over with as soon as possible for me to deal with my own plans this year. I'm hesitant because despite of good news darn I would definetly hear a lot of "sermon" again, about my work, my life, my activities, my savings and darn my health. Yes, I got POS again mygulay, balik akosa everyday dosage ng 1500mg ng gamot, banggag nanaman ako every day, at ang hindi ok eh masesermonan nanaman ako nito hay buhay.

Kamalayan

Saan ka nagmula?
Sundalong magiting.
Isang tanod ng sigwa,
May gusto atang marating.

Sumabak sa unos,
Nang walang pagaalinlangan.
Sa kalabay nakipagtuos,
Salat man ang kaalaman.

Sa bawat hagupit,
Nang sandatang tangan.
Marka ng pait,
Di malaman ang pinagmulan.

Atensyon ba o pagkakakilanlan?
Ang udyok ng kamalayan.
Upang tadhana'y iyong subukan,
Sa walang katuturang digmaan.

Tatanungin kita kaibigan,
Alam mo ba kung ika'y nasaan?
Gumising ka, ito ang mundong nilikha,
Para sa mga taong mapagkaila.

-written March 24, 2009

Thoughts - AEffort

Mygulay, ilang araw na ko busibusihan nakakaloka.. walang tulog at pagod, ang init pa.. got lot of things to do lately, dadating kase mga grandparents ko from states next week kaya dami pinapaayos sakin. I need to call talk and deal with the airline company due to some changes on my grandparents flight and plans, I was ask by my aunt/godmother to do so, hindi ko matanggihan kase love na love ko sila hehehe.
Tapos add natin ang pakikibaka ko kakahanap ng secondary phone and gift for my brother and mhy. At ang masalimuot na lovelife ng friends ko susko po bakit lovelife ng iba ang iniintidi at kinakabangagan ko samantalang ako WALA. Ilan araw na rin ako walang tulog pagpumapasok sa office dahil kung saan saan ako pumupunta, nakaw speaking pupunta ba ko school bukas.. nako po.. akala ko makakapagpahinga na ko..
Hay, ilan araw na ko banggag kaya kung ano ano ng nagagawa ko.. nagwawaladas pa ko pera kahit hindi planado susko shayne ano nagyayari sayo.. pero on the other hand nabuhay ang dugo ko kagabi hehehe.. Bakit ka mo? My dearest ever loving sexy sweet naughty maldita like me officemate ceejay my suprise na pinakita sakin kagabi, anu un? picture lang namin ni kras hayzzz.. pantangal pagod hahaha.. Ilang lingo ko na kaya nireresearch, spy at hinalungkat ang kahit ano account nya para malaman kahit unting info or picture from him. Ang malas ko nun mga nakaraan araw, wala daw friendster, myspace o facebook, susko galing kaya siya ng bundok at hindi siya nagkaroon ng ganon? :slap: pero we have one thing in common as of now we both play PSP at naglalaro siya ng patapon yeah boi! We're meant to be ba talaga hahahah..
Anyway ayun nga etong c ceejay kakahalungkat ng mga profile sa livespaces whuala nakakuha kame ng 3 pix ni kras.. (ang galing mo gurl ako 500 profile na nacheck ko sa spaces pero hindi ako bunongga ng gayan pero ikaw ilabsyu maldita :kiss:)

Eto picture nya hindi siya gwapo, pero kras ko si cute nose with braces ko :kilig: hahahaha

group pic nila.. mukha syang sobrang pandak hahaha

mukha siya abnoy.. bakit ba ko nalilinya sa mga abnoy hahaha...

Ryan

Thoughts - Mars Chocolate Bar

Geezz! We met our new TM today, Ok naman si Gie, sanayan nga lang siguro. Minsan napapaisip ako na feeling ko hindi siya makasabay sa kalokohan ng team, well we'll give her the benefit of the doubt bago palang nya nakasabay ang buong team so feeling ko ok naman siya makakasabay din un eventually. Lahat naman ng tao may laman kalokohan sa utak so malamang meron din un lalabas at lalabas din katarataduhan niya makasama niya lang kame ng matagal, sanayan lang.

Next, letche ganon parin si Coy hindi parin makaget over ng loko hahaha nakakatawa, nakakalungkot at iba na ung namimeeting samin ngayon, pero ok lang his around lang naman, palakad lakad, hindi makatiis kase lagi siya sa bay. Ceejay ask him "Coy anung ginagawa mo dito?" Coy answered "Gusto ko dito wala kase ko dun kilala, wala kausap."
Geezzz.. see that wala ako nasagot kahit na nandun lang din ako, hay, he'll come around ganon talaga, sanayan lang.
Kanina naman magkaIM kame ni Coy pati si Loiusse kaIM lang din si Coy, iba ung feeling ng kahit ka IM namin siya pero pag tayo ko sa station ko wala siya sa kabilang station, na tanaw lang namin pagtumayo kame. Hayz, minsan pagmaykailangan ako sa kanya, tatayo lang ako tapos lalakad sa right side ko tpos pag tingin ko sa station ibang tao na pala, parang mapapahiya lang ako sa sarili ko, nako dadating din time na hindi ko nagagawin un, na if I need to talk to him magiIM nalang ako or text sa kanya, sanayan lang yan..

Nakakaloka na isang request lang ni Coy sakin na gusto nya ng Mars Chocolate Bar, kahit niloloko ko siya na hindi ko siya bibigyan, eh still ayun pagkabreak ko ayun, nasa counter ako ng Ministop buying him a bar of chocolate, nakanang! Ganyan kame 3 nila louisse, kahit anong asar namin sa isa't isa we can't just simply say no, kahit anong mangyari. Magkatampuhan man at the end of teh day parang wala rin nangyari. Mauwi pa sa sigawan ang pagtatalo, isang yosi session lang wala na ulit at nagtatawanan na kame. I really get along with my co-leauges and supervisor kahit sa mga dating work ko, pero iba ung bonding namin 3 dito, magkakakunstaba sa kalokohan at katarantaduhan. Kahit nanay ko kilala si Coy at Louisse kahit hindi sila nagkakakita o nagkakausap. Ganon na ung takbo ng umaga ko, kakausapin ang nanay ko kung ano nagyari sa trabaho at hindi pwedeng hindi mapapagusapan si Coy at Louisse. Nako hindi ko na siguro maaalis yan ganyang gawi sa mga umaga sa buhay ko. Sanay na kase ko..

Thoughts - Inggitera

I used to create my own siggy, here are some..

first siggy I made for papa

created for cf

for igol

mine

hindi ko na lagay ung iba kase madami at hindi naman ako magaling sa ganyan but my kapatid midz and aventot are expert on those.. tsak kinatamaram ko na mamood ng video sa youtube kung paano gawi ug bang tricks sa photoshop eh.. kaya nagpapagawa nalng ako siggy ko hahaha.. At dahil inggetera ko, ingit ako sa gawang siggy ni mids kila mhy at mama.. so naghanap ako ng image at nagpagawa rin sa kanya hahaha.. kaso hindi ako makapagdecide kung alin sa siggy gagamitin ko.. take a look.. pareho lang pero magkaiba ang dating..

ito ung original design nya

eto ung revised

Ang gulo ko diba pareho lang naman ung color at lights lang nagkaiba pero hindi ko alam alin dyan sa dalawa pipiliin ko, pareho maganda, pareho ko gusto pero.. hay puro pero..
Yan gnag isa sa mga problema ma ko ang tagal ko mag decide, kaya kahit sa pagshoshopping sus aabutin ako ng ilan oras para makapili, bakit? I want the best for me, kahit sino naman un ang gusto diba, pero minsan kakapili mo nagkakamali ka rin, like what happen the last time I tried buying a new shirt, kakapili ko kakapunta ko sa iba't ibang shop, ung nagustuhan ko wala na pala stock, ayun umuwi ako ng walang nabili at nauwi ang 3 hours ko sa wala.
Naalala ko sabi ng mom ko, "pag may nagustuhan ka, kumuha ka ng size mo sukat mo pag ok bilin mo na, mahirap na kase ung babalikan mo pa, ung nakita mo thinking na baka may mas maganda pa, baka mamaya wala na un pagbinalikan mo."
Alam ko may point mom ko pero minsan ang hirap basta basta gumawa ng desisyon, iniisip ko baka manghinayang o magkamali ako, pero sino ba ang hindi nagkakamali..
Siguro marami lang mga bagay na kailangan isa alang alang bago mabitiw ng desisyon at tingin ko hindi ko maalis sakin un. Ayoko naman basta basta tumalon sa dagat ng hindi ko alam kung malalim o hindi ung parteng un lalo na hindi ako marunong lumangayon..
Anyway desisyon ko sa siggy, I ask ave's opinion at ung pangalawa daw un gamitin ko so un ang ginamit ko hahaha..

PGR in Puerto Galera

Sawakas natapos na namin ito.. after a few weeks of being gloomy mygulay..

We have to accept and move on.. Nakakaiyak na nakakatawa balikan mga pictures na ito.. Halata naman na puro kame tarantado sa team diba? Kahit ung mga matitino lumalabas ung pagiging siraulo pagmagkakasama kame.. People on the floor would think na hindi kme close as a group, hehe think again..

Pero kahit ganon wala makakapagsabi na patapon ang Team, coz we already prove them who PGR was and who PGR is..

So closing time na ba ng PGR? I don't think so, its just "see you around".. PGR are here to stay mabago man ang name ng team..

(coz PGR won't be PGR without you Coy)

We're gonna RULE!

Our Pasaway days in Galera.. ang last team buidling ang PGR (shoot naiiyak nanamana ko.. may video sa dulo.. powerpoint un with songs hehehe!)

And ID bow!

So alam nyo na kung bakit ganon ang status ko sa YM?! hahaha

Oo fine makapal mukha ko, susko ang taba ko grabe!

Disclaimer: Hindi po namin kilala ung mga nasa unahan namin.. at feeling namin yamot na sila sa kalokohan pinaggagawa namin hahaha!

Pag-ibig sa Jetty

Here is a video of team pgr, actually kulang yan.. hindi pa kase kasama dyan ung first year or so..

at hindi makikita ng transition ko from piglet to piggy :rofl:

pero eto kme ung mga PGR na umalis na, nawala, nagpainga lang, nagiba ng daan, nagtago, nagbakasyon etc. pero until now walang nakakalimot..

seriously, ung ang isa sa mapagmamamalaki ng team namin, walang iwanan, walang kalimutan..

mawala ka man asahan mo, isang text lang naguunahan na yan sa inuman..

hahahaha!